The Washington Post offers up some tips for staying safe in the DC area. Well, at least they aren't inciting a panic.

- While outside, try to keep moving. A moving target is more difficult to hit than one that is standing still.
Yeah, try running in small circles and ducking and weaving. You should also try to blend in with your surroundings. Try camouflaging yourself as a drunken bum, a mailbox or a pile of garbage.

- When moving outside, walk briskly in a zigzag pattern.
Not too much of a pattern, make sure that you randomize so they don't know which way you're heading next. You should also try running quickly from telephone pole to telephone pole.

- If you must remain in one place in an area where you feel vulnerable, select the darkest part of the area to sit or stand in.
Try hiding in an alley. Also petition the Governor of Maryland to ban streetlights, so the whole city will be dark. Cars should also run without headlights so as not to attract attention.

- If you are fueling your car, stand between your vehicle and the gas pump and bend your knees to lower your profile.
Better yet, just buy a new car. It's not worth the risk. If you absolutely must buy gas, try laying down underneath your vehicle or getting into your trunk while you pump it.

- If you are fired on in an open area, drop to the ground and roll away from where you were standing. Look for the closest protective cover and run toward it in short, zigzag dashes.
After shitting your pants, make sure you duck and cover. It was good enough to teach to our kids during the nuclear scare of the 50s, it's good enough now. Better yet, grab the nearest person and use them as a human shield. If they were too stupid to duck and cover, they are probably dead meat any way.

- Be constantly aware of your surroundings while outside. Note any suspicious vehicles or activities, move away from them and report them to the police.
While waiting at stoplights, write down the license plate numbers of all the cars around you. Better yet, don't stop for lights, it is just too dangerous. Also, scrunch down real low in your seat to make yourself a small target.

- Remember that a sniper with the right equipment can shoot accurately from about 500 yards away, the equivalent of five football fields.
That's TEN Arena Football fields. Also remember that high powered rifle rounds are supersonic. You'll never hear the shot that kills you.

Thanks to Mrs. DuToit for the link.