Drunkenness Rating: 8 beers

I think there is a time in everyone's life where taking alcohol to a movie seems like a good idea. So, Ken, Eric, Chris (aka Meathead), and I set out to sneak about a case of beer into a movie theater. We had already been drinking, and were feeling pretty good when we entered the theater with our hidden booty.

Unfortunately for us, taking beer to the movies creates some real life practical problems. First of all, there is the noise created. Opening a beer bottle may not sound so loud in your living room, but it seems to stand out in a dark quiet movie theater. Had we picked a comedy or action flick, it probably would have gone unnoticed, but in the adult drama we were watching, there wasn't much happening on the screen. Also, I don't think there is a more unique sound than when an empty beer bottle falls over and rolls down a sloped concrete floor. And the giggling didn't help much either.

Another big problem was our bladders. Stumbling through the lobby every five minutes to use the bathroom tends to raise the suspicion of the theater ushers. It was as if we wanted to be caught. Actually, I think some of us did, because Eric and Chris wouldn't shut the hell up. Ken and I ended up moving seats in a futile attempt to distance ourselves from the rowdy pair. This of course only made them angry and they started throwing popcorn and juji fruits in our direction.

When Meathead stood up and offered the entire movie theater a beer, we knew it was time to leave. Barely 40 minutes into the picture, Ken and I signaled to Chris and Eric that we were leaving. We made our way out through the fire exit next to the theater screen. Chris and Eric decided to leave via the main entrance and bumped into the policeman that was entering our theater to apprehend us. Keeping their cool, they made their way past the cop and out the front door where Ken and I were waiting for them with the car.

Oddly enough, the town we lived in had a second run movie theater that serves alcohol, but that wasn't good enough for us.