Lots of good news stories today:

Man Copkiller throws tantrum (and pitcher) after conviction
He received a death sentence, in Texas, where capital punishment is meted out with the utmost efficiency. The best part was hearing how he threw a tantrum in court and tried hiding under the table while the verdict was being read. What a fucking coward.

Better tasting beer is on the way
As a beer connoisseur and certified Anheuser-Busch Beermaster, I should be getting my invitation to help out with the research any time now. My resume includes having visited the top three beer countries in the world, (Ireland, Holland, and Germany) having visited numerous breweries, and having been a member of Taco Mac's Passport Club (which I would have completed, had they not kept losing my list after 75 beers). I can also recite the pledge from a Budweiser label from memory.

Global Warmers Admit No Solutions
How can you continue to follow a movement where they make suggestions for "planetary engineering," including "putting layers of reflective dust in the upper atmosphere, increasing cloud cover by seeding, and placing a giant mirror (2,000 kilometers wide) to act like a permanent sunspot and deflect about 2 percent of solar flux." I would be lauging, but some idiots take these guys seriously.