Pro-enslavement rallies were staged in cities all across the nation today, supporting tyrannical despot Saddam Hussein. Hussein, whose notable achievements include murder, rape, gassing his own people, and numerous other human rights abuses, could not be reached for comment. (UPDATE: Saddam was finally able to be reached for comment.)

King Kong's girlfriend, Jessica Lange, accuses President Bush of having a 'Son of Kong' mentality. "Was this born out of some vendetta mentality? A son trying to absolve the sins of the father?" Lange continued, "What I am saying to you, Mr. Bush: we do not want these sins visited upon the heads of our children."

Not to be upstaged, Rev. Jesse "The Sloganmaster" Jackson complains about Bush hogging the remote control. "It does not stand to reason to have an unfinished confrontation with al Qaeda, ignore the Middle East and then fast forward to Iraq." You have to imagine the inflection that Jesse would give such a speech. 'It does not stand to reee-zun...'

The U.S. protests were coordinated to coincide with international pro-enslavement demonstrations in several different nations; most fitting, the Communist Party protests in Russia and San Francisco. In the Syrian capital of Damascus, the protesters were at least honest about who Saddam is. Their protest included support for Iraq and shouts of "Our beloved Saddam, strike Tel Aviv."

While I have no problem with people standing up for what they believe in, I do have a problem with what they choose to believe. Saddam is a ruthless dictator that has committed horrific crimes against humanity. To me it is an issue of right and wrong, and Saddam is most definitely wrong. And, if you support Saddam, you are wrong too.

These pinko peaceniks need to understand that peace is not obtained through marches are demonstrations. Just ask anyone lucky enough to survive the Tiananmen Square massacre. Peace is obtained through force and/or the threat of force; for it is force that keeps monsters like Saddam from subjugating others.