Ravenwood - 06/27/03 09:15 PM
For your weekend enjoyment, I dredged up an oldie but goodie: The Top 10 Things We Want To Hear Samuel L. Jackson, "Jedi Master, Mace Windu," say in the Star Wars Prequels.
10. You don't need to see my goddamn identification, 'cause these ain't the motherfuckin' droids you're looking for.
9. Womp rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, 'cause even if it did, I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.
8. This is your father's lightsaber. When you absolutely, positively, have to kill every motherfuckin' stormtrooper in the room...accept no substitutes.
7. If Obi-wan ain't home then I don't know what the fuck we're gonna do. I ain't got no other connections on Tattooine.
6. Feel the Force, motherfucker.
5. Now don't be all down on the DARK side of the force, you know what I'm sayin?
4. You sendin' the Fett? Shit, Hutt, that's all you had to say!
3. Yeah, Chewie's got a hair problem. What the brother gonna do? He's a wookie.
2. Does Jabba the Hutt look like a bitch?
1. Hand me my lightsaber... it's the one that says, "Bad Mother Fucker."
That would make the "Star Wars" movies so much more entertaining, wouldn't it.
(hee-hee . . . sigh) Thank you.
I still think I'm going to have to edit The Clones Attack so that Windu asks, “Yea, my muthafuckin’ light sabre’s purple. What the fuck are you gonna do about it . . .”
Maybe tomorrow . . .
Posted by: Daniel Morris at July 3, 2003 2:42 AM(c) Ravenwood and Associates, 1990 - 2014