Let's help Susan Smith find a man she deserves. As someone who does a lot of hiring, I can advise Susan that she just needs to prettify her resume. Any of the following phrases should have her drowning in love in no time:

"Great With Kids - For The First Couple Years Or So"
"Post-Delivery Abortion Specialist - Will Relocate to State with Lax Murder Laws"
"Christian - The Old Testament-Stone-The-Whole-Family-Kind"

It's a shame Jeffrey Dahmer got shiv'ed. They'd make the perfect pair. She could kill 'em and he could eat 'em.