Why say anything, when you've got Scrappleface:

Saddam to Offer Eulogy at Sons' Funeral
(2003-07-22) -- Saddam Hussein may deliver the eulogy at a state funeral for his sons, Uday and Qusay, who died suddenly today in Mosul. The elder Hussein was invited to speak at the funeral by the commander of allied ground forces in Iraq, Army Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez.

"We understand the emotions triggered by the death of one's sons," said Lt. Gen. Sanchez. "So, we want Mr. Hussein to stand up there on the podium, in clear line of sight, and tell the world how special his boys were. We aim to give Saddam the respect due a leader of his caliber. I can assure you that he will have the full attention of many of our finest men."

The allied commander said Mr. Hussein's remarks would last "roughly 7.5 seconds, after which the former Iraqi leader, doubtless with a heavy heart, will return to an underground bunker."