Cigar Aficionado offers up some humorous (yet valid) advice for cigar smokers out there. The stories you will read are true; only the names have been changed to protect the innocent (and guilty). Here is a quick sample:

MALICIOUS MOOCHERS
After months of hints and prodding, you've finally succumbed and invited Huey over for dinner. After the meal, you suggest repairing to your study for a bracing smoke. You go to the bar to pour two snifters of Brandy, and turn around to find Huey clipping the head off your only pre-Castro Cuban cigar. It was once owned by Jose Marti; you picked it up for a princely sum at a Christie's auction in London, using money you had earmarked for your daughter's education. Your Caribbean tan melts into your liver and you watch, paralyzed, as the oaf puts flame to the 50-year old corona.

What you can do: Resist the urge to slay Huey. After all, this is your house, and you're likely to stain the carpet or oak floors. Hand him an ashtray and, when he puts the cigar down, draw your service revolver, leveling it at Huey's misshapen head. In a firm voice, instruct him to step away from the cigar. Once the cigar is recovered, take Huey by the ear, lead him to the back door and throw him into the snow, followed by his coat and hat.

There are about a dozen other stories followed by hilarious but good advice. For instance, what would you do if your wife got her panties in a bind and started chucking your prized cigars out into the yard? You could just grab her and wring her neck, but if she's still holding your humidor in a perverse Mexican standoff that would only aggravate the situation. So what would you do? WHAT would you do?

Read it and find out.