"I went back and reread the whole New Testament the other day. Nowhere in the three-year ministry of Jesus Christ did I find a suggestion at all, ever, anywhere, in any way whatsover, that you ought to take the money from the poor, the opportunities from the poor and give them to the rich people." -- Senator John Kerry, bible scholar and former Presidential candidate.

Kerry went on to point out that he got more Presidential votes than Bill Clinton.

"The fact is, 10 million more Americans voted for our idea of what we wanted to do than voted for Bill Clinton in 1996 when he was the sitting president of the United States," Kerry said. "The fact is, a million people volunteered. The fact is, across America we created an energy.

I'm sure Eagle's fans take comfort in knowing that Philadelphia scored more points in this year's Super Bowl than the Patriots did against St. Louis back in 2002.