My sister's birthday is coming up soon, and she was very specific in what she wanted. She has a membership to one of those warehouse clubs, and wanted a gift card. Now, I don't want to disparage the warehouse club by name, but it rhymes with Kostko. I don't have a membership there, but she assured me that I could still purchase a gift card without one.

On any given night during the summer, when I actually have the luxury of getting off work early enough to still have some daylight left, I like to get a little exercise by taking a walk. I checked Mapquest and the store was over 4 miles away or nearly 9 miles round trip. I don't usually walk that far, but I was determined to humanely euthanize two birds with one stone. So, I strapped on my MP3 player, and loaded up on bottled water and headed out for the store.

Now, I don't usually walk that way. The residential parts of the neighborhood are a mixture of nice and not so nice houses, and my trek would also take me through some heavy industrial areas. I had walked these roads before, but not since I discovered it was marked territory of the Salvadoran street gang, MS-13. (Evidenced by the numerous graffiti tags that say 'MS-13'.) But the store was down that way, so I figured what the hell. Besides, I'm a pretty big guy and I like to think I'm prepared to handle whatever trouble might cross my path. (G27 .40 10+1, for those of you who are interested.)

So I start the long arduous walk down to the warehouse club. About half way there it starts to rain. It was just a quick sprinkle, but it was enough to wet the ground and create a fog of humidity that you could cut with a Ka-bar. Like I said, I looked at mapquest before I left and it estimated the trip at over 4 miles each way. I wish I had looked a little more closely, because I took a wrong turn half way there and walked about a half mile out of my way. It was getting late and I had a knot in my stomach from not eating, so I stopped at a gas station to ask for directions and pick up a chocolate bar for some quick energy. The clerk gave me good directions and 15 minutes later I was trotting through the front door.

I walked up to the greeter and asked him about buying a gift card. I told him I didn't have a membership, so he directed me to the "Puerto Rican" guy (his words, not mine) behind the customer service counter. I told the clerk that I wanted to buy a gift card for my sister, but that I didn't have a membership. He asked if she was a member and I said yes. He said that it wouldn't be a problem, and gave me a pass to get by the guard at the front door. He was very helpful and told me where to find the gift cards, and said to just tell the cashier that I'm buying it for someone who's a member. I followed his directions exactly.

When I spoke with the stocker who was filling in at the register, he clearly had no clue what I was talking about. He quickly escalated the transaction to a "supervisor". I knew he was a "supervisor" because it was stenciled on his smock, and they don't just hand those out to anyone. Any way, he informed me that I had to purchase a membership (for $45) just to buy a gift card. I told him "negative" and said that the Puerto Rican behind the membership counter had told me it was okay to buy a gift card without a membership. (I didn't really say "Puerto Rican", but wouldn't it have been cool if I did?)

He told me that you could use a gift card without a membership, but to buy one I'd have to shell out an extra $45. It was beginning to look like it was all for naught. I told him to get a manager, and he ran off to fetch one. The manager never showed, but "supervisor" guy came back and escorted me to an empty register.

He told me that it was against their policy, but that he was going to make an exception. He made it a point to let me know that I was in the wrong, and that he was doing me a favor.

Did I mention that I don't shop at warehouse clubs? There's two major reasons. First, I don't like the fact that they don't give you any bags to carry your stuff out. The second reason is that they don't take credit cards. This was not the best time to find that out.

I handed him my VISA card, and he promptly handed it back to me. They only take Debit and ATM cards, or an American Express charge card. Credit cards are not welcome. I dug into my pocket, with this sinking feeling that the candy bar I had just bought would make me come up short. Luckily I had just enough cash to load up the card with the amount I wanted.

As I headed out of the store, I stopped by the customer service counter to complain. It was packed with other customers, and I was pretty ripe from the long walk, so I decided to just cut and run. It was getting dark, and I figured my complaint would fall on deaf ears any way. To me, it's a training issue. Either their employees aren't trained well enough to know the policy, or they aren't trained well enough to communicate the policy effectively to their customers. Besides, what could they do? Offer me a complimentary membership to a store I would never visit? I headed for home, hoping to make it back before dark.

Next time she's getting a check.