It's that time of year again. The holidays are upon us, and the internet will soon slow to a crawl as bloggers of all faiths spend more time with their families, take vacations, or just sit back and relax.

But in this dearth of posts, the Carnival lives on. Through rain, snow, sleet, or postal strikes the Carnival arrives just in time for Christmas.

With that said it brings me great pleasure to offer you, the 170th Edition of the Carnival of the Vanities:

Our finest gifts we bring

Countertop has been celebrating Advent, one day at a time.

Holiday shopping got you down? Mensa barbie has a little guide and some lovely sites to take the confusion out of Holiday shopping.

Reb Chaim HaQoton teaches a Holiday History Lesson.

They're discussing the red socks over at Random Yak. Not the baseball team, the rare annual appearance of coverinus tubulus Adventus.

Joe Goodwin at Play One on TV gives us an Ode to a Christmas Gag Gift

Is all that time with the family and in-laws getting on your nerves yet? Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face suggests his Guide To Dealing With Your Family During Christmas: Part I.

Twas the night before Christmas

How many of you remember what a treat it was to go to the movies when you were a kid? Well, Sour Duck fondly remembers Saturday afternoon matinees, especially the great Abbott and Costello.

To a novice the internet can be a complex and confusing place, so Barry Welford at The Other Bloke's Blog gives us a holiday fable: Alice In InternetLand.

I'm shocked, I say, shocked that some hippie activists would raid a church and steal the baby Jesus (no, not Sean Hannity, the real baby Jesus). Peace Moonbeam has the unbelievable story.

Madeleine Begun Kane at Mad Kane's Notables gives us her latest song parody of Bill O'Reilly's Faux War On Christmas. It's complete with a podcast version, for those of you with pods.

Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world; unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. Kevin Baker over at The Smallest Minority writes another uber-long essay that's completely inappropriate for the holiday season.

What better gift than free music? Elisa Camahort at The Browster Blog compares Google Music Search to Yahoo and itunes.

If you thought moving to a new town was tough, try a new continent. Bussorah at Wicked Thoughts tells the humourous tale of an Englishman who couldn't take the heat.

David N. Scott at Pererro reflects on the Piano Man.

The weeping, the shouting, the bitter angry drunkenness. Those are just a few of the symptoms of S.A.D. (Statistical Affective Disorder), the December doldrums that Mark A. Rayner says hit most bloggers right on the stats page.

Canadia has a crime problem, mostly because they refuse to fight crime. Zendo Deb over at TFS Magnum offers some suggestions.

David Ng over at Terry, wonder what would glaciers have to say about Global Warming.

Visions of sugar-plums

Kipper at Cardinal Martini says that as bloggers get bigger and more famous, they start imitating old media.

Charlie Quidnunc updates us on what happened last week: A Rough Friday; Pelosi: Democrat Disunity is Good; and the WTO in Hong Kong.

Silly DL. Over at TMH's Bacon Bits, they still believe in journalistic ideals such as serving the common good instead of being a mouthpiece for Democrats.

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Conservatives are ecstatic about the Iraq election today. Liberals are mum. Ah, the sounds of silence, but until Iraqis control their own borders, they are not a nation. Don Surber at Don Surber says Don't Oversell The Iraq Election.

Dan Melson at Searchlight Crusade says that that we are fighting more than just terrorism. We are fighting to preserve preserve western civilization.

Adam at Sophistpundit is busy clubbing the modern protest to death with its own lack of internal logic.

Over at Bookmoth, Moth notes that firing rates for U.S. troops have risen sharply since World War II, and that the anti-war activists are using statistics to portray soldiers as unnecessarily vicious.

Over at the Chronicles of a Medical Mad House, the Internal Medicine Doctor is worried that there are too many ways to die.

Despite all the bad press they've been getting, Matt Johnston at Going to the Mat notices that Shoppers Still Flock to Wal-Mart.

Who is Herald Angel?

The Iraqi elections are a big success. Jack Cluth at The People's Republic of Seabrook wonders who would have thought that an election might just be far more fair in Iraq than here in Texas?

When it comes to settling the desert, Jews have had some success at farming whereas Arabs have failed. Batya Medad thinks it may be a return of The Curse!

Sophistpundit Adam Gurri is covering the 2005 Iraqi Elections.

We haven't heard much about the "star wars" missile defense system lately. Perhaps that's because it's going so well, writes Blue at DSS Hubris.

When proffering about social policy, Brian J. Noggle catches the big government types being a little too candid about how they view their subjects. (meaning you and me)

Everyone born here is automatically a citizen, and some people want that to change. Conor Friedersdorf at Beyond Borders Blog is left Defending Birthright Citizenship.

Some MEPs in Brussels don't understand what the word leader means. Andrew Ian Dodge at Liberty Cadre thinks some pols have a conflict of interest between the EU and allegiance to their own country.

The same people who are crying about the PATRIOT Act and civil liberties are the ones trying to sweep the Second Amendment under the rug. Countertop wants to know Who Ya Gonna Call When The Gestapo's At The Door??

Doug Payton at Considerettes tackles the NSA wiretapping story. While the knee-jerk reactions from both sides don't shed any light, a close look at the NY Times shows a President sensitive to all the legalities.

Has the balance between defense and civil liberties has been tipped too far? As a pro-defense libertarian, Brad Warbiany at The Unrepentant Individual asks the tough questions.

There is a lot of hand wringing over domestic surveillance. But Different River is one of the few who are asking, What does the Constitution say?

Kevin W at The Liberal Wrong Wing has the run down on George Bush's Oval Office speech.

Josh Cohen at Multiple Mentality goes where he probably shouldn't go. The Presidential Sex Life. (And it doesn't conjure up images of Jack Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe.)

What's existentialism you ask? John Ray is glad you asked, because he found real life existentialism going on in Africa.

Mele Kalikimaka

It's never too late to start thinking about socking money away. JLP scores an interview with author Lee Eisenberg about his upcoming book "The Number."

So, just what does the Bible says about how we should handle our money? Over at Free Money Finance, they put money in The Proper Perspective.

David Porter wants to talk about ARMs. No, not guns, the other ones.

TT at Retire at 30 talks to us about how to invest our money.

Wayne Hurlbert says that it's a tough world out there, and only the dynamic will survive.

If you missed this Carnival, Adam Graham from Adam's Blog reminds us about the Carnival of Christmas that comes but once per year.

Well, that's all folks. I pinged as many trackbacks as the system would allow. (You guys with haloscan/typepad may be outta luck) If any of the entries went to Internet Valhalla, please email me ASAP. I'm flying out of town today but may be able to take a look at it tonight.

Starting next year, the Carnival of the Vanities will be under new management. I'm not sure if there was a hostile takeover or if the sale was amicable, but as a result this may be the last Christmas Carnival that I'm allowed to host. For me it started back in 2002 on Christmas Day with Carnival #14. It's been a good run, and special thanks to Big Wig for kicking this whole thing off.

The 171st and final edition of Big Wig's Carnival of the Vanities will be hosted by Chicken Soup for the Damned.