The pleasure police are even trying to kill Halloween. What is wrong with these people?? Do they see people having fun and purposely try to spoil it?? I mean you can find fault with just about anything if you look hard enough!

I think that there is a special place in hell for these killjoys. (Right next to idiots that drive too slow in the fast lane.)

Yet a third page of Halloween party pics.

(You're welcome, Acidman...)

Today is the day. I'm hoping I actually get trick or treaters this year, and I bought candy yesterday in preparation for the little pan handlers.

The previous two years in Atlanta, I didn't get a single trick or treater. I was quite disappointed two years ago, after I went through the trouble of running walkway lights up to the front door and everything. (If you've ever tried to bury an electrical wire in Georgia red clay, you'll know just how much trouble it was! Back me up Acidman!)

Anyway, it is cold here, but the weather is holding out, so I'll rush home in anticipation of the little tykes. I live in a small apartment complex surrounded by shopping plazas, so I don't imagine I'll get too many. But one would be nice.. just one!

In preparation for the disappointment, this year I actually bought good candy that I might actually eat, and not just throw away or pawn off on someone at work.

If 'ballistic fingerprinting,' which is lauded by the gun control lobby, is so great, why does the Grand Lodge of the Fraternal Order of Police claim it's a pipe dream, and a waste of law enforcement resources?

Does Sarah Brady know more about catching criminals than the largest collection of law enforcement officers in the nation, or is she spreading lies to further her agenda?

"For years police have called for the creation of such a database." -- Sarah Brady, claiming that police support ballistic fingerprinting.

"The FOP does not support any federal requirement to register privately owned firearms with the federal government..." -- FOP, in a report claiming funds are best spent elsewhere.

In other Second Amendment news, who says CNN is biased? Check out this tasteless cartoon.

The National Organization for Women (NOW) is pushing for more fat, ugly women on TV. Their 2002 Feminist Primetime Report is bitching and moaning that over the air networks are featuring 134 more men than women, and that the women are mostly nothing more than eye-candy. [A quick look at the report shows that the variance for last season is 134 out of 688 (40/60 split), and this season is 125 out of 677 (41/59).]

The NOW report also states that:

We all know that women come in many shapes, sizes, ages and colors. In an extremely informal count, however, we found 140 women on TV who were model-thin and conventionally beautiful, versus just 31 women who appeared to wear a size 10 or larger.

Lesley Boone (Molly) on Ed, Tyne Daly (Maxine) on Judging Amy, Loretta Devine (Marla) on Boston Public, Camryn Manheim (Ellenor) on The Practice, Melissa McCarthy (Sookie) on Gilmore Girls, Della Reese (Tess) on Touched By an Angel, and Countess Vaughn (Kim) and Mo'Nique (Nikki) on The Parkers.

Staff writers at Ravenwood's Universe are skeptical at best. NOW wins the No Shit Sherlock Award by listing shows like UPN's "WWE Smackdown" as examples of the worst offenders, pointing out that there are more male 'superstars' than females. Meanwhile the cancelled "Ellen Show", "Girlfriends", and "Judging Amy" get the top nods for 'gender fairness'. Who the hell watches that crap?!

What NOW doesn't understand is that networks see only the color and shape of the almighty dollar. Their whole purpose in life is to make money for their shareholders. They do that by picking up TV shows that people will actually watch. Big surprise: People want to see good-looking people on TV.

NOW also makes this brilliant statement:

TV has the power to bring people together, to show viewers a full picture of our society.

NOW also rates programs on "social responsibility," but since they give no quantitative criteria for that category, I'm going to ignore it.

They also misplace responsibility for the quality of TV programing by claiming that networks must be held "accountable to all the viewers who ultimately make them rich." Clearly they are only responding to what the viewers watch. NOW even admits that 40% of their 'favorable' shows were cancelled last year. If viewers were watching them, they'd still be around.

The bottom line is that TV shows are no different than commercials. Ask any advertising agent and they'll tell you that sex sells. "Friends" most certainly would not have been a hit show with six overweight slobs laying around some oversized NYC apartment.

Putting fat, ugly, cows on TV will only make people change the channel. Or worse, perhaps they'll turn it off and actually read something.

Lets say you're a doctor and you boast a low mortality rate. How do you protect your claim? Well, in Britain, you just turn away patients who have the greatest risk of dying.

(link via WSJ)

I added a second page of Halloween pics. They include the infamous 'shot-ski'

"I can't put my finger on what it means or how you can quantify it, but there is so much more energy than there was two or three weeks ago." -- Illegitimate Senate Plurality Leader, Tom Daschle, D-SD, expressing glee that the death of Paul Wellstone might save his party this election year.

For all those black helicopter folks and conspiracy nuts out there, it is clear that the Democrats have more to gain from Wellstone's death than Republicans.

UPDATED: Gov. Ventura is considering appointing an independent to fill Wellstone's seat, after last night's political rally disguised as a 'memorial service'. Ventura reportedly walked out of the service after hearing Democrats used Wellstone's death as a rallying cry to vote for them. What most incensed Ventura was when Rick Kahn stood up and begged for voters to "help us win this Senate election for Paul Wellstone."

The dems also booed any Republicans that had showed up to pay their respects to Senator Wellstone.

It is clear that the Democrats will do anything for political gain; no matter how illegal, tasteless, or immoral.

My liberal buddy, Jack Cluth, has brought forth the issue of cock fighting. Apparently making cock fighting illegal in Oklahoma is on the ballot this year. Naturally, Jack is against cock fighting and thinks it should be banned.

Cock fighting as a "sport" should be outlawed- period- and the voters of Oklahoma should go back to arguing over things that really matter- like trailer parks or Indian casinos....

To truly stop cock fighting, you need to address the source of the problem. Chickens. As long as anyone can simply walk into a store and purchase a chicken, no one is safe. I propose a state-wide blanket chicken ban to stop all cock fighting. At the very least, you should need a license to purchase a chicken, and there should be a three day waiting period. That will stop any spontaneous cock fights from starting up.

It should also be illegal to carry a live chicken in your vehicle. That will keep chicken runners from bringing chickens in from states like Virginia that have lax chicken laws. We should also ban the open and concealed carry of chickens. Otherwise cock fights might start up in schools and back alleys across the state.

There are also lots of people that already have chickens. Rather than go door to door confiscating chickens, we should impose a 1000% tax on chicken feed. Even if people continue to purchase feed for their chickens, the extra tax revenue should help fight the problem of chicken injuries caused by cock fight violence.

We should also encourage product liability lawsuits against 'Big Chicken'. Companies like Purdue and Tyson, who willfully market their products toward children, must be held accountable for the criminal misuse of their chickens.

I'm with you Jack. I'm starting a grassroots lobbying organization called Americans for Chicken Safety. ACS feels that this cock fight problem has gone on long enough, and must be addressed. We shouldn't let another chicken suffer unnecessarily for human entertainment.

First there was Carnival of the Vanities. Then there was Return to Carnival of the Vanities. Next came Escape from Carnival of the Vanities.

Now, Silflay Hraka and Blogcritics bring you... Beneath Carnival of the Vanities.

Starring Bigwig as the Ringmaster, Laurence Simon as the Alien, and Ravenwood as the damsel in distress.

Coming to a blog near you!

The way the AP article reads, it isn't exactly clear whether or not they are renaming an existing concourse or adding on to the airport.

In Atlanta they were toying with the idea of corporate sponsorship for the airport concourses. "Your flight will be leaving from the Home Depot Concourse, gate number 5. It is just past the Coca Cola Concourse, but before you get to the UPS Concourse."

Of course, in Atlanta, they already spend hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars renaming the streets after sitting city council members. (or their children, friends, neighbors, pets, etc.)

Many thanks to E-Nuf for providing me with some liberal fodder to fisk. I get so much enjoyment out of debating my liberal friends, and it has been a while since they've provided me the opportunity. Eat your heart out Rachel Lucas¹.

Enuf: Yo when are you libertarians just gonna accept it that gun laws like all modern protections where invented in modern times.

I'm not sure what you mean by this. Gun laws have been around since the invention of the gun. Arms, however, have been around since man walked erect. The right to bear arms for self-protection is an unalienable right that cannot be taken away.

If you read the federalist papers you see very clearly that the intent of the right to bear arms is specifically for state mill-ish-a-zs.

If it is written so 'clearly' and 'specifically', why don't you cite any passages? Here is one:

[The Constitution preserves] the advantage of being armed which Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation...[where] the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms. -- James Madison, The Federalist Papers, (No. 46)

"The whole of that Bill [of Rights] is a declaration of the right of the people at large or considered as individuals...[I]t establishes some rights of the individual as unalienable and which consequently, no majority has a right to deprive them of." -- Albert Gallatin to Alexander Addison, Oct 7, 1789.

Before a standing army can rule the people must be disarmed; as they are in almost every kingdom in Europe. The supreme power in America cannot enforce unjust laws by the sword; because the whole body of the people are armed and constitute a force superior to any band of regular troops that can be, on any pretence, raised in the United States. -- Noah Webster of Pennsylvania, An Examination of the Leading Principles of the Federal Constitution, Philadelphia, 1787

The Constitution also doesn't say you have the right to own a refrigerator, an automobile, a personal computer, or a television set. We could spend all day looking at what the Constitution doesn't say.

and who care anyway since you have the dam right in most states.

The operative word is most. Many localities like New York City, Washington DC, and Chicago deny citizens their unalienable right to keep and bear arms. Also, firearms continue to be highly regulated. For instance:

- Firearms are banned in places like schools, and on some state and federal property.
- You need permission from the government to purchase a firearm.
- Many states have a waiting period before you may purchase a firearm.
- Many makes and types of firearms have been banned and/or confiscated.
- Persons with mental illnesses cannot own firearms.
- Many states prohibit the transportation of firearms within their borders.
- Many states require a license to own a firearm.
- Many states require firearms to be 'child proofed'.
- Many states have sued firearms manufacturers for the misdeeds of their owners.

The thought of a nation where only the government is allowed to keep and bear arms scares me. As for property seizure, we already experience that. Every two weeks the government takes 1/3 of my earnings at the point of a gun.

¹I'm downright jealous of all the hate-mail and fisking that Rachel gets to respond to. All I ever get are Nigerian email scams.

I told myself I was going to stop doing these campy quizes, but my love of the simpsons is just too strong.

Kang
Snake
Fat Tony
Grandma Jackie or Aunt Gladys
Otto
Pedro (the Bumblebee man)
Troy McClure
Martin
Professor Frink

"But could any gun laws have prevented the shootings? ...our society doesn't have a stellar record of keeping prohibited things out of people's hands (war on drugs, anyone?).
"Let's not forget, too, that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens can actually stop those who prey on the innocent." -- Cathy Young in an editorial in the Boston Globe of all places. (It's probably driving Ruston Eastman nuts)

Why would anyone run for political office? Laurence Simon threw his hat into the ring for the Presidency, and Jack Cluth has decided to mount a last minute write-in campaign for Governor of Texas. This leads me to think about my own political prospects, and reasons that I'd make a horrible political candidate.

• I'm unmarried. In many people's minds, that disqualifies me immediately. How can I represent the interests of families with children, when I have none of my own?



• I'm not a good liar. While I have a master's degree in bullshit, my conscience prevents me from purposely deceiving people.
• I'd run as an independent. I fit neither the Democrat nor Republican mold. That means I'd only gather votes from people too lazy to write in Mickey Mouse, Britney Spears, or Jack Cluth.
• I have way too many skeletons. When I look back on my life and think of all the mischief I've gotten into, I think it is best to keep some of that stuff a secret.
• I'd be easy to smear. I really don't want my 'Drunk Story of the Day' being held up in the political limelight. That is all I need is to be judged by these self-righteous assholes that think politicians should at least hold the illusion of being innocent and pure.
• I'm too nice a guy. While I feel obligated to smear people based on their wacko political beliefs, I cannot bring myself to play politics. Shamelessly dragging my opponent through the mud would be difficult for me. What do I care if J. Edgar Hoover likes to prance around like a nancy boy in dresses? He's not hurting anybody, he did nothing illegal, and he didn't perjure himself before a grand jury (for all you clinton apologists), so what's the big deal?
• I hate public speaking. Seinfeld once said that people fear public speaking more than death. That means that at a funeral, you are better off being in the coffin than giving the eulogy.
• Speaking of speaking, I don't want assholes like Jacob Weisberg getting rich off of trying to make me look stupid. I am perfectly capable of making myself look stupid and don't need help.
• Speaking of Weisberg, I'd abuse my power in a New York minute. Between IRS anal probes and body cavity searches at the airport, nitwits like Weisberg would rue the day they messed with me.
• I speak from the hip too much. I wouldn't last long in Congress telling people how I really feel. I don't think too many politicians have ended their speeches with "...and the horse you rode in on!" I certainly wouldn't have too many friends, and I'd have to be physically restrained from punching Tom Daschle in the nose. Traficant was my hero.
• I enjoy my privacy, and peeking over the walls of my compound might get you some buckshot in the face.
• The last thing I want is to be the center of attention. I'd be a wall flower compared to media whores like Shillary Clinton.

A Google search for 'Ravenwood' finds my site ranked at #4 in the search results; right behind a site for custom carved wood signs, and in front of a site offering miniature donkeys.

Look. Up in the sky. What is that strange powdery substance?? AUGH! SNOW!

I miss the South!

Drunkenness rating: 8 beers for me vs. 1 gallon grain punch for Jen.

In college, every year, my neighbors Damon and Sean had a Halloween party. Typical refreshments included a keg of Beast, some grain punch¹, and jello shots².

I manufactured my own costume out of empty Budweiser cartons which seemed to be collecting in the corner by the trash can. (They must have been my roommates, honest!) The costume looked silly at best, and was kind of bulky, but it was cheap, and that is what counted in college. After about an hour, I had taken most of it off, and thrown it away. Still, it provided me an answer to that too common question, "Where is your costume?". I could just point to the heap in the corner and say "There it is."

Now, I was typically a beer drinker, so drinking grain punch didn't sound the least bit appealing. Even when I did drink liquor, I didn't usually like to taste the actual alcohol that much. I preferred a tasteless liquor that mixes pretty well, like vodka, or the sugary goodness of a spiced rum. Basically, I stayed away from the grain punch concoction and stuck to beer and jello shots.

My friend Jennifer however was hitting the punch pretty hard, and it wasn't long before she was pretty out of it. Her roommate Marnette was there, and she was doing a pretty good job of baby-sitting her. I checked back with Jen, and she was sitting in a chair out on the balcony. I think she was praying, because her head was between her knees and I could hear her mumbling. Still, she seemed to be ok, so I started mingling some more.

About 20 minutes later, Sean came up to me and told me that Jen had to go. She had been vomiting over the balcony railing, which really seemed to bother the people standing out there smoking, not to mention anyone walking down below. As I was talking to Sean, I saw Damon carry her out the front door. He had her bent over his shoulder in a fireman's carry and was clearly not very happy. She looked like a rag doll, with her long hair hanging down over hear face.

I followed them out the front door, but I was quite a few steps behind them. I passed Damon in the stairwell, as he was headed back up to his apartment. He didn't say anything, but I could tell he was agitated. He had set her down out front, just off the sidewalk. She was curled up in an undignified fetal position, with her butt sticking up in the air, cuddling a small bush. I think it was an azalea, but it could have been a rhododendron.

I cannot remember exactly what she was supposed to be dressed as, but 'hooker' seems to fit my recollection. Whatever the outfit, her skirt was very short, which now presented a problem, as she lay there for all the world to see. Marnette and my roommate Denny came down from the party, and we stood there trying to figure out what to do with her. Marnette was emphatic that we couldn't just leave her there, while Denny seemed to think the bush looked rather comfortable.

After a few minutes, we decided it was best to take her home. She had had enough partying for one night. I scooped her up into my arms, and she let out a moan. I told her if she threw up on me, she was going back onto the bush.

Carrying 120 pounds of dead weight is not very easy. Carrying 120 pounds of dead weight dressed in vinyl is pretty damn difficult. It didn't help that I wasn't exactly sober, and she wasn't exactly holding on. As I started across the apartment complex toward her place, I could feel her slipping out of my arms. I didn't want to throw her over my shoulder, because I knew she'd never make the journey. I was only a moment away from dropping her.

Hoping that she was still somewhat conscious, I asked her to hold on tight. She must have heard me, because she managed to squeeze me tighter. With most of her weight transferred from my arms to my back, we were home free. I could have carried her all night, if only she'd hang on. After getting her home safe, and putting her into bed, I hung out in the living room while Marnette took care of tucking her in. After she was asleep, we headed back over to the Halloween party to dance the night away.

¹'Grain' being 190 proof alcohol, and 'punch' being fruit.
²Jello shots are liquor and jello. My mother never made me jello when I was a kid. Honestly, the first time I had it was in college, and I had no idea it was actually a treat for kids. I went to the supermarket once and was appalled to find it in with the pudding and kiddie treats. Also, the instructions don't say anything about how much vodka to add to the jello. I called the help line once and they refused to help me. Finally, one of my roommates clued me in that jello was a kiddie treat that drunkards and college students had perverted for their own alcoholic gratification.

Reuters stands 'accused' of hacking and may face criminal charges. Intentia, a Swedish IT group, claims that Reuters 'published' a news release prior to their scheduled release. An internal investigation revealed that someone with a Reuters IP address made an unauthorized entry. Reuters 'denies' the allegation.

I haven't been able to finish today's Drunk Story of the Day, ironically, because I am still under the weather from the drink-fest this weekend.

As I said before, I traveled to DC for the weekend. My DC friends were having their annual Halloween bash, and I made an appearance as Jake.

Also, being from out of town, I didn't have to stay and help clean up. Tsk, tsk.

(to view the Halloween photo montage, click on the photo above.)

Kim DuToit offers up a compelling debate on gun control and repealing the Second Amendment. I am green with envy for not coming up with my own masterpiece.

Nevertheless, if only 2% of all known gun owners did respond to gun confiscation with extreme violence, that's over a million really angry, and armed, citizens. That's the ugly reality that faces any would-be gun confiscators. Americans are not docile citizens. Our nation was born by rebellion and bloodshed in the name of freedom, and we're not that afraid of doing it again, if we have to.

Kim also demonstrates his vast knowledge of Constitutional history and procedures. His knowledge and appreciation for history and the political workings of the government makes me wish that some of the people who were born and bred here, and who take our freedoms and opportunities for granted would bother to learn even the basics.

Well, now that I'm rich, and have "won life's lottery," I guess I'll have to make some changes in my life. I think I'm going to start by getting rid of my scant 1-bedroom apartment. That puts me in the market for a modest 5-bedroom estate on about 40 acres of land. Of course, I'll also have to purchase some small 5000 sq. ft. condos in all my favorite stomping grounds. That way I won't have to stay in a hotel, or bother friends and relatives when I come to visit.

Next, I'll sell my Ford and buy a Mercedes or Jaguar for running around on the weekends. Perhaps I'll get that classic '62 Vette I've had my eye on. Of course, I'll need a limousine and chauffeur for during the week. I saw a magazine called "Car and Driver," which sounds like it may have some information on the subject.

Of course, I'll also have to get rid of all my old friends. I don't want my riches coming between us. Besides, I'll have to start socializing with a whole new crowd now. I'll try to forget all you little people while I enter the class of the parvenu.

"evidence of falsification"

"egregious misrepresentation"

"exaggeration of data"

"[H]is scholarly integrity is seriously in question"

These aren't exactly ringing endorsements of Michael Bellesiles' award winning book which is still lauded by gun control advocates. Bellesile's book, "Arming America: The Origins of a National Gun Culture" won the Bancroft Award, and was held up by gun grabbers as proof that guns were not a large part of American culture on the frontier.

However, Bellesiles sources, which were primarily old probate records, were immediately criticized. Very few of the probate records matched the findings in his book, and some records he cited simply did not exist. (For instance, the San Francisco records Bellesiles cited that had actually been destroyed in 1906 earthquake.) When questioned, Bellesiles conveniently lost his notes, stating they were destroyed and then discarded when a records room at Emory flooded. Even that excuse didn't hold water, (pardon the pun) as the manifest of items lost in the flood didn't include Bellesiles' research notes. Hmm.

I'm not going to rehash the whole thing, but if you want to read more about it, Instapundit has been keeping a good journal.

Although it comes as a surprise, I am not at all sorry to see that Bellesiles was fired resigned in disgrace. I figured he'd get a slap on the wrist at most.

Who says margin of victory doesn't matter. Ohio State beat Penn State this weekend and still dropped two spots in the AP poll. That has happened to them twice this year, the previous drop coming off a close win against Cinci. Meanwhile, AP darling Notre Dame rose 3 2 spots with their win, leap frogging Georgia and Ohio State. They are breathing down Virginia Tech's neck, just 14 points behind the Hokies in the AP poll.

The BCS ramifications are clear. This should mean a full point shaved off their total BCS score, which would bump Miami, who is top ranked in both the AP and Coaches polls, to third in the BCS. It would be interesting to see teams ranked 2nd and 4th in the major polls play each other, and the BCS try to pass it off as a 'National Championship" because the computers say they are actually 1st and 2nd. Regardless, it is clear that as long as Notre Dame keeps winning, they will continue to leap frog teams. One more game should put them ahead of Virginia Tech, perhaps even Oklahoma.

Meanwhile, VT will most certainly drop in the BCS standings mostly because LSU lost to Auburn. It'd be nice if the Hokies controlled their own fate, but they don't. All they can do is continue to win, and hope for the best.

Is this media bias, or am I just being nit-picky?

Sniper photo from CNN.com

Sniper photo from FoxNews.com

Perhaps CNN just doesn't have any updated photos of the sniper.

I'll be traveling this weekend, so blogs will be few and far between. I'm flying to Washington DC for a Halloween party and will be cutting out early today.

Remember the Democratic cartoon showing Bush pushing an old lady down the stairs. Well, now the Republicans have a little cartoon of their own.

"Race should be one of many criteria that any college or university can look at in building an ethnically strong and diverse talent pool." -- Ron Kirk, Texas Democratic candidate for the Senate saying that people should vote for him because he's black.

Just what we need, Affirmative Action in the Senate. So much for voting for the best candidate to represent your interests.

Drunkenness Rating: 1/5th of Vodka

Now, anyone that knows me today knows that I'm a beer drinker. There are a few reasons why I no longer drink hard liquor, and this is one of them.

I was headed out pretty late one Saturday night, to a party that a friend, Scott, was throwing. It was already past 11 PM, and by the time I showed up, all the beer was gone. I asked Scott what had happened, and he said they didn't anticipate going through it so quickly. He said the party was still going on, but it was 'bring your own' since his keg had run out. Not to be dissuaded, I ran back to my apartment and grabbed a fifth of vodka and a 20 oz. Dr. Pepper.

Now when I say a fifth of vodka, I don't mean Smirnoff or Absolut, or even Stoli. We are talking Aristocrat. At $6 a bottle, this shit barely qualified as vodka. Anyone who has ever had Aristocrat will typically shudder a bit at the mere mention of the name. I was on a college budget however, and I had to make due with what I could afford.

So, I hit this party pretty hard. Despite being out of beer, it didn't start to break up until around 2:30 the next morning. Most people there were already in a good mood, and quite a few people had their own little stashes of alcohol, so there was plenty of fun left to be had. By the time I left the party, I had completely finished my fifth of vodka, and was half-way through the Dr. Pepper that I was using as a chaser. I stumbled home, but stopped off by Jen and Marnette's apartment across the street. Their light was still on, so I knocked on their back door. That is the last thing I remember from that night.

The next morning, I woke up in my own bed. I was fully clothed, but half my bed and my floor were covered in vomit. Also, my jaw felt like it was broken, and the whole room smelled like rancid parmesan cheese. I tried to piece together what had happened while I cleaned up myself, the floor, and all my bedding. I ultimately ended up throwing away some of the bedding and the clothes that I had slept in. After a few hours of drinking water, the room finally stopped spinning and I reached for the telephone.

Jennifer answered, and I very meekly asked, "Um, did I fall down or anything while I was over there last night." She dropped the phone and all I could hear was the ensuing laughter. She told Marnette what I had asked, and they both giggled and laughed for about 10 minutes. They never did come back to the phone, so I hung up and walked across the street to speak with them face to face. The described the previous night's festivities, and my memory started to gradually return.

The previous night, Marnette had let me in, and poured me onto the couch. They were having a late movie night, and were busy making home-made pizza between reels. (Well, tapes actually, but reels sounds so much better.) After a few minutes rest, I got up and stumbled into the kitchen to make small talk with Jennifer. She was just taking their pizza out of the oven. She grabbed some napkins and plates and went out into the living room to start their next movie. Somehow, I had managed to slip and fall in their kitchen, hitting my chin on the counter. I got up, and still dazed from the blow, stumbled through the kitchen doorway. I didn't quite make it, and tried to catch myself by grabbing onto the side of the door frame. Since I only grabbed one side of the doorway and was off balance to begin with, I ended up swinging around and smacking my face against the wall. In pain, I slid down the wall and ended up in a heap on their dining room floor.

Witnessing all this from the living room, Jen and Marnette helped me onto the couch and proceeded to feed me pizza in a vain attempt to sober me up. I passed out for about an hour while they continued watching their movie. Eventually they got sick of me and threw me out. My apartment was just across the parking lot, so they gave me a good shove in that direction and closed the door. I'm not sure how, but I made it home and into my own bed.

I learned a few lessons from that evening, and I rarely drink liquor anymore. I've also slowed down quite a bit, and rarely if ever, drink to excess. Still, I wouldn't trade the memories for anything.

Baylor All Saints Medical Center in Fort Worth Texas has canceled their plan to give out 'free' flu shots, after long traffic jams and fistfights broke out. Although the annual drive-through flu shot program attracted 5000 people last year, this years response was overwhelming to say the least.

Until now, I wasn't even aware of the existence of a Massachusetts ballot referendum to repeal the income tax. Fox News points out that neither Democrats nor Republicans support the measure, (big surprise) and that the Libertarian candidate was summarily dis-invited to the debate to keep the issue from being addressed.

The last poll has the referendum at 40%, which is amazing considering the commonwealth's love of big government. Staff writers have pointed out to me that even if the measure passes, it isn't likely to happen. Just look at what happened to term limits in Idaho.

I remain optimistic and hope that the citizens of Massachussestan will revert to their old Boston Tea Party ways and lop $9 Billion out of their government's budget.

Geez, now you cannot even ride a horse under the influence. Where is the danger in that? I would think they'd praise the horse for being the designated driver.

'Tis the season for trick or treating for Unicef. Unicef collects millions of dollars from the US, and uses it to give aid to children across the world.

What many people don't realize is that the aid comes in the name of the UN, not the US. After all, UNICEF is the United Nations Children's Fund. That is the very UN that criticizes the US at every turn. Libertarian demigod, Neal Boortz points out that the UN actively supports the following positions:

• Make American citizens accountable to a world criminal court for actions that the UN deems to be a crime that would not be a crime under the US Constitution or US laws.


• Levy a tax on individual Americans to support UN welfare and indoctrination programs elsewhere in the world.


• Levy a tax on American technology to fund UN programs.


• Force the United States to raise tax rates on its citizens and businesses so that our lower tax rates won't allow us to engage in "unfair tax competition" with nations with higher tax rates.


• Control American's access to and use of certain National Parks and historic sites in the name of "preservation" as defined by the UN.

Here are some of the strange things people are looking for, which for some reason, lead them here:

oktoberfest photos nude - naked oktoberfest pictures - oktoberfest nude - nude oktoberfest - sexual oktoberfest
- These people obviously know nothing about Oktoberfest. It is a family affair and public nudity would probably be met with public drunkard beating uping.

hamster hospital gay explosion
- I wonder what this guy was looking for. Whatever it was, there are no 'gay explosions' around here.

cops caught in sex acts on pics video
- Interesting.

pictures of policemen weigh 300 lbs or more
- Hopefully not the same guy looking for photos of cops in sex acts.

Katie Couric photos feet
- I've heard of foot fetishes, but never Katie Couric foot fetishes

drugs prostitution vacation
- Try Miami

Using Frontpage to keep out hecklers
- Must be someone from the Democrat Underground looking for better ways to censor their readers.

feinstein embarrassed pin
- They should also try searching for 'California embarrassed by senator'

biker gang photos
- I have no clue. If I saw a biker gang coming, I wouldn't be reaching for my camera.

hampton roads is the shit
- No, it's not.

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If you've read anything I've written about the BCS, you'll know that I'm no fan of the computer system. That said, there are two things would really make me happy this season.

First, I want to see Virginia Tech run the table and get an invite to the National Championship at the Fiesta Bowl.

Second, I want to see Virginia Tech politely decline the invitation just to stick it to those fuckers at the BCS and the Fiesta Bowl.

The BCS is a horrible system, and the Fiesta Bowl snubbed VT for the 2000 bowl selection. Rather than take BCS #5 Virginia Tech, they opted to take BCS #6 Oregon State and BCS #11 Notre Dame. Of course, ND then proceeded to get a major ass-kicking by the Beavers on national TV. VT ended up drubbing Clemson in the Gator Bowl, (which I attended).

Sure, I'm bitter. I hope Frank Beamer is bitter too, and I'd love to see him mess up the BCS' precious money grabbing plans. And no, I don't care what the consequences would be.

Note: Thanks to Spoons for setting me off. Perhaps his fiance and I should get together and burn ND players in effigy or something.

El Rushbo reports just who is paying what taxes. Turns out that the top 50% pay over 96% of taxes, and the top 25% pays over 84% of taxes.

According to Dick 'Gebhardt', if you are in the top 25%, you are 'lucky', and have 'won life's lottery'. And of course Joe Lieberman wants tax 'rebates' for "taxpayers who did not receive one in 2001". This obviously doesn't include anyone in the top 50%; you know, someone who actually pays taxes.

The problem is that the entire bottom 50% pays almost no taxes, yet their vote counts the same as everyone elses. That makes it quite easy for them to vote money out of your wallet and into theirs.

Drunkenness Rating: 20 beers

For those of you that don't know, I went to Virginia Tech, and my buddy Ken attended our rival, the University of Virginia. Every other year, he'd come down with a few of his frat buddies for their annual football thrashing.

Well, this particular year Ken showed up on my doorstep holding two cases of Olympia and exclaimed, "I found something cheaper than Beast!" Then he said "Come see what else I brought with me," and dragged me out to the car where his frat buddies were waiting for us. They popped open the trunk and inside was Nate, a fraternity pledge who they had kidnapped, bound, gagged and shoved into the trunk. He had been riding back there for over two hours. I thought it was so sweet that they'd want to include me as an accessory after the fact to their felony kidnapping.

So, we all went into my apartment to prepare for the Friday night festivities. We were going to a party at a Damon and Sean's place which was just down the hill from where I lived. We loaded up a backpack with a few cases of beer, and headed out. On the way there, Ken ran down to the bottom of the hill, and like a smart ass yelled out, "Hey Steve, don't fall down the hill." That naturally caused me to trip and fall down the hill. My ankle was badly sprained but someone handed me a cold one and told me to walk it off.

At the party, I proceeded to drink heavily to try to dull the pain. At first my limp became less and less noticeable the more I drank, but when it came time to leave, I could barely walk. Since my friends had left the party a few minutes earlier, I walked home alone. As I came limping up, dragging my foot behind me like Quasimodo, my roommate Denny was outside waiting for me. He told me not to get mad, and helped me into the house. Just as I asked him, "Why would I get mad?" I noticed the UVA crew desperately trying to vacuum up the broken glass and dirt that was all over our carpet. Apparently they had held quite a drunken pillow fight after they returned to the apartment.

I'll admit that I was furious. They had smashed two glass tables and murdered an innocent house plant as part of their demolition. Ken wanted to head back to UVA that night, and we had to physically restrain him to keep him from leaving. It all blew over by the next morning, however. After a quick trip to the emergency room for my ankle, we watched VT kick the shit out of UVA.

I returned the favor to Ken a year or so later when I was a 'bouncer' at one of his parties. He asked me to eject Eric and Neal just for the fun of it. Eric went out peacefully and was allowed back in, but Neal put up a bit of a fight. The way I see it, he was lucky to have that table break his fall. He was also quite easy to remove once he was doubled over in pain. But that is another story.

ESPN on the Hokies:

Midseason Coach of the Year [Big East]: No coach consistently does more with less than Virginia Tech's Frank Beamer. Sure, no one expected the Hokies to struggle this season, but No. 3 in the country? Credit Beamer, who has Virginia Tech vying for a national title berth despite the lack of a true passing game and with a defense that was gutted following the 2001 season.

What's next: Four of Virginia Tech's next five games are in Blacksburg. Barring an unexpected slip-up, that should put an undefeated Hokies squad in the Orange Bowl for a winner-takes-all showdown with Miami. Between now and then, quarterback Bryan Randall will have to emerge as a passer or the Hokies could become victims of a one-dimensional offense.

"I just find it inconceivable that you could equate people's lives - particularly children that buy cigarettes in bodegas - with a minor economic issue." -- NYC Mayor, Michael Bloomberg, answering complaints of Bodega owners who are going out of business due to the decline of cigarette sales.

I find it inconceivable that a Mayor could take the livelihood away from hundreds of Bodega owners, and then claim he's doing it 'for the children'. Even worse, he characterizes it as a 'minor economic issue'. For the record, it is already illegal to sell cigarettes to minors in the state of New York.

"Some private environmental groups criticized the shift [in strategy], saying that it was essential for countries to intensify efforts to blunt the human impact on climate even as they seek ways to deal with the consequences." -- NY Times, October 23, 2002 on the urging of government leaders to address the problem of Global Warming.

"Climatologists are pessimistic that political leaders will take any positive action to compensate for the climatic change, or even to allay its effects... The longer the planners delay, the more difficult will they find it to cope with climatic change once the results become grim reality." -- Newsweek, April 28, 1975 on the urging of government leaders to address the problem of Global Cooling.

In the 1970s, it was widely predicted that Global Cooling would shorten the growing cycles and cause widespread famine. Worried about a shortage of fresh water due to ice piling up, there were even plans to try to melt part of the polar ice caps.

Drunkenness Rating: 8 beers

I think there is a time in everyone's life where taking alcohol to a movie seems like a good idea. So, Ken, Eric, Chris (aka Meathead), and I set out to sneak about a case of beer into a movie theater. We had already been drinking, and were feeling pretty good when we entered the theater with our hidden booty.

Unfortunately for us, taking beer to the movies creates some real life practical problems. First of all, there is the noise created. Opening a beer bottle may not sound so loud in your living room, but it seems to stand out in a dark quiet movie theater. Had we picked a comedy or action flick, it probably would have gone unnoticed, but in the adult drama we were watching, there wasn't much happening on the screen. Also, I don't think there is a more unique sound than when an empty beer bottle falls over and rolls down a sloped concrete floor. And the giggling didn't help much either.

Another big problem was our bladders. Stumbling through the lobby every five minutes to use the bathroom tends to raise the suspicion of the theater ushers. It was as if we wanted to be caught. Actually, I think some of us did, because Eric and Chris wouldn't shut the hell up. Ken and I ended up moving seats in a futile attempt to distance ourselves from the rowdy pair. This of course only made them angry and they started throwing popcorn and juji fruits in our direction.

When Meathead stood up and offered the entire movie theater a beer, we knew it was time to leave. Barely 40 minutes into the picture, Ken and I signaled to Chris and Eric that we were leaving. We made our way out through the fire exit next to the theater screen. Chris and Eric decided to leave via the main entrance and bumped into the policeman that was entering our theater to apprehend us. Keeping their cool, they made their way past the cop and out the front door where Ken and I were waiting for them with the car.

Oddly enough, the town we lived in had a second run movie theater that serves alcohol, but that wasn't good enough for us.

There seems to be some confusion that my handle, Ravenwood is my real name. Over at Kim DuToit's, every email I send him he publishes as Steve R, and this week over at Amish Tech Support, I am referred to as Steve Ravenwood (which he later changed to Steve at Ravenwood).

I certainly understand the confusion, because I hardly use my last name. It's not that I hide it, because anyone could simply do a 'whois' query on my domain and figure it out. I'm just in the habit of either going by my first name, Steve, or my handle, Ravenwood. My surname, Carrick, just doesn't seem suited for publication. Throughout my entire life, I've found very few people that could pronounce it right, and even fewer that could spell it. You can probably imagine some of the teasing I went through as a kid. I've just about heard it all.

More to the point, would you visit a web site called "Carrick's Universe"? Probably not. And, had I registered that as a domain, who'd have been able to find it?

Having an uncommon surname also makes you easier to track down. That's all I need is for it to be easier to serve me warrants and restraining orders. Call me paranoid, but growing up our family was one of only three Carrick's in the phone book. On the other hand, I never have trouble purchasing a firearm or getting credit. I guess it helps when they don't have to weed through millions of Smiths or Jones. Perhaps if I had a common last name like Lucas, Simon, or DuToit, I would use it more online. Perhaps not.

Really though, what is in a name? In today's world you are more of a number anyway. The government, my employer, and my creditors all refer to me by number. Even with people, names are going the way of the dodo. Cher, Madonna, and Shaq have already lost one of their names, and MJ and OJ just use their first and last initials. A-Rod uses an abbreviated name, and Prince keeps switching back and forth between his stage name and an unpronounceable symbol. Even Dubya, just uses a single middle initial.

So I say, call me Steve, call me Ravenwood, call me crazy. Just so long as you call me, I don't really care. I just wanted to set the record straight.

Carnival of the Vanities 5 has been published at Amish Tech Support and Blogcritics. There is some good stuff there. Go, read, enjoy.

Man sues casino for his losses - claims they fed his addiction
Man sues fast food chain for his gains - claims they fed his addiction

The story line is the same, time and time again. In today's society, there are a bunch of losers and pantywaists that refuse to take responsibility for their own actions.

Luckily up until now, juries have been dismissing such frivolous lawsuits. The problem remains that this still costs the casinos money, which could lead to less perks (like free booze) for the rest of us.

In Fort Myers, FL, the Lee County Sheriff's office is refusing to hire people who smoke. This is just one of the latest attacks on the legal behavior of smoking. Palm Beach County enacted a similar policy last year.

Both Florida counties have used the guise of lowering health care costs as an excuse to control employee's private lives, even though there is no evidence to support the claim.

The staff writers at Ravenwood's Universe feel that since they are so worried about health care costs, and the well being of employees, here are some other regulations they should impose:

No skydiving, water-skiing, motorcycling, hang gliding, or bungee jumping.
No reading or watching TV in the dark.
No going to loud rock concerts.
No running with scissors.
No burning candles after 9 PM.
Employee's homes must be properly equipped with bath mats.
No electrical outlets without a safety cover.
Employees must always use the handrail on the stairs.
Employees must wash hands, regardless of whether or not they are returning to work.
No frayed extension cords.
No answering the door without knowing who it is.
No talking to strangers.

When burglars are stupid enough to come back to the same house three times in a row, they deserve what they get.

Bernard Schwinn waited at home rather than go to work for the burglars to strike. A half an hour later, his door was kicked in and the burglars were met with a shotgun. The burglars fled, but one was apprehended. Schwinn fumbled with the safety a bit, but did get a shot off. Unfortunately, he missed.

Tips for Schwinn:

- If you know how to use a firearm, the only safety you need is a trigger.
- Buckshot is a lot more effective than bird shot.

NewsMax is reporting that Joe Lieberman, D-Conn, has "just moved to the right of President Bush on economic policy and is now calling for massive, sweeping and immediate tax cuts" in a "Reaganesque" fashion. As if that wasn't shocking enough, Lieberman is quoted as saying, "The president didn't cause the economic problems but he's not given the leadership to get us out of them."

In comments to WABC Radio's John Gambling, Lieberman said his Reaganesque tax cut plan would include "a new investment tax credit, a zero capital gains rate and some consumption tax incentives, including a rebate for 34 million Americans and a sales tax holiday for the holiday shopping season."

Well, very little research shows that NewsMax appears to be misunderstanding the Senator's plan. Lieberman's own web site shows a press release from just four days ago where he called for "postponing" the next phase of Bush tax cut. NewsMax also fails to note that the 34 million Americans that Lieberman wants to give a rebate to are identified as "taxpayers who did not receive one in 2001." Of course, the reason those 'taxpayers' didn't receive a rebate in 2001 is because they didn't pay taxes in 2001.

Lieberman is also calling for "extended unemployment insurance benefits to maintain the purchasing power of the unemployed." Yeah, lets reward people who are unemployed and give them incentive to go out and buy a lot of stuff they cannot afford. That doesn't sound very 'Reaganesque' to me.

As for the sales tax holiday, who is going to pay for that? Sales taxes are collected by the states. It would appear that Lieberman wants to mandate a sales tax holiday to the states by rebating the revenue from the federal kitty. Not only is that not a sales tax holiday, but the extra layer of federal bureaucracy would actually make it a tax increase. (Of course, it'd only be paid by those in the top tax brackets anyway, so who cares, right?) If Lieberman pulls it off, he's a socialist genius by shifting a fair and balanced usage tax to a progressive form of income tax. This could change the entire socialist democratic agenda!

In short, Lieberman seems to have some good ideas, but they are intermixed with socialist liberal ideals. In his press release he even praises FDR, when in fact economic recovery happened despite FDR. NewsMax gets this one wrong, and their characterization of Lieberman as 'Reaganesque' is insulting to Reagan and anyone who subscribes to his beliefs. Perhaps I was expecting too much of them to do even a miniscule amount of fact checking.

Drunkenness Rating: 18 beers

Looking for another college party, my friend Ken and I used the 'follow the music' method. We were walking around the apartment complex and heard some really loud music coming from a party in a nearby building. Curious, we walked up to the door and listened to the party noise emanating from within.

We tried knocking, but no one answered, and they couldn't have heard our knock anyway. Not to be dissuaded, we simply opened the door and walked in. To our surprise, there was a banner hanging from the ceiling that said "Happy Birthday Jennifer". As it turned out, the apartment was shared by three girls, and they were throwing a birthday party.

We culled their names off their refrigerator "message center" and were actually able to fool people into thinking we were invited for about an hour or two. Things got pretty tense when one of the girls found out that we didn't belong, but they took it well and we were allowed to stay. Besides, by then we had already made quite a few friends at the party.

The Bush Administration is "leading the economy into shambles" and is the "worst economic team since President Hoover." -- DNC Chairman Terry "Global Crossing" McAuliffe.

"The market's clearly turned over a new leaf. For the first time in a while, earnings are exceeding expectations." -- Stephen Massocca, president & head of trading at Pacific Growth Equities.

Which one do you believe? Democrats continue to talk down the economy, only the economy isn't listening. For the record, the Dow closed up another 215 points today and is at a 6 week high. Unemployment is decreasing, and the economy is projected to have grown at a 3.6% annual rate in Q3, and is estimated to grow at a 2.2% annual rate this quarter.

"I work with young people," SpotLight on Kids Managing Director Edie Baran said. "How could I possibly look them in the eye and try to teach them integrity, positive body image and self-confidence and then accept money from an organization like Hooters?" -- SpotLight on Kids, one of several organizations trying to rationalize why they refused donations from a Hooters Restaurant.

These people are hypocrites, and they need to remember this when I decline to donate to their cause. How could I possibly donate to an organization that puts their ideological political correctness views above their cause.

Also, there is nothing wrong with Hooters. I understand why certain people may choose to eat someplace else, but there is no reason to condemn people who are making an honest living. I also want to know how they think that teaching kids that it is wrong to take advantage of your good looks, creates a positive body image. Especially considering SpotLight on Kids centers on acting and stage performance. Look at any TV show and you'll see that acting ability is usually secondary to looking good.

In my opinion, that has to be the best way to describe the BCS. I find it amazing that college players and coaches, many of whom have little familiarity with computers, put their faith in computer modeling to determine the best football team.

Today, Miami will be informed they are #2 in the BCS standings behind Oklahoma. Why? It's not because of how they've played on the football field. It is because of who they've played. You see, Miami has played teams like FSU and Florida, while Oklahoma has played teams like Texas and Iowa State. While Texas and ISU are having very good years, FSU and Florida haven't been playing too well lately. Sure FSU is still ranked, but they are likely to drop a few more games with teams like Notre Dame, Florida and NC State still on their schedule.

Why should Miami care how their opponents fare? Well, now that margin of victory has been removed from the BCS formula, who you play and how they play the rest of their season becomes very important to you. Ironically, powerhouse teams like Miami and Oklahoma are actually penalized for being good. Virginia Tech and Texas for instance have tougher schedules, in part because they play good teams like Miami and Oklahoma.

Another problem with looking at strength of schedule, is that teams don't have a whole lot of flexibility over who they play. The conference opponents are the same year after year, and non-conference opponents are scheduled 8 or 10 years in advance. There is no guarantee that a quality team today will still be a quality team in 2010, when you get around to playing them.

The BCS also favors the major conferences. This has prompted the BCS to give Notre Dame, an independent, a special rule for being included in the BCS picture. Meanwhile, teams in lesser conferences need more than to finish undefeated to make it to the National Championship.

What all this means is that the best team in football isn't always determined on the football field. Instead, it is 'calculated' by several different computer models. Tell me again how this is better than simply using the AP and Coaches polls?

It should also be noted that the BCS formula keeps changing from year to year. Every year they add a rule to fix some blunder from the year before. The first BCS in 1998 picked Florida State over Ohio State because they had a loss earlier in the season. To fix it, strength of schedule was added and more emphasis was put on the computer formulas. Then in 1999, margin of victory was the only thing that kept undefeated Virginia Tech ahead of one-loss Nebraska. Again, the computer formulas were tweaked.

In 2000, one-loss Florida State was picked ahead of one-loss Miami, even though Miami had beaten FSU head to head. Miami claimed they were screwed by the BCS, and the formulas were once again changed, and a 'quality-win' component was added. Last year's blunder had Nebraska playing in the National Championship, even though they couldn't win their own conference. The scandal once again resulted in a change of the BCS computer formulas.

In summary, the BCS is more about money and less about declaring a National Champion. That is why organizers vehemently oppose a Division 1-A playoff. However, I think that even the old polling system is better than the monstrosity we have to put up with now. The idea that your win-loss record and score are not enough, and that we need to factor in the teams you played, and the teams that your opponents played is utterly ridiculous. src

Well, not exactly. A Democrat run message board is putting the kibosh on free speech until after the election. As Neal points out, the message board can't handle dissent.

Check out excerpts from a post from the Democrat Underground administrator:

In case you haven't heard, there is a very important election occurring in less than three weeks. The stakes in this election are as high as they have ever been. You are being given a clear choice: Hand over complete control of all three branches of government to the forces of evil - or don't.

As the administrator of this message board, I have the opportunity to have an impact on the outcome of this election. As an American, I have a moral obligation to do what I can to stop the conservative juggernaut. For the next three weeks, that is my greatest concern.

We still allow all points of view, but we have our limits.

For the next three weeks:

It is forbidden to use the DU message board in an effort to make our members withhold their precious votes from the Democratic Party, which is the only organization capable of stopping the Republican onslaught.

It is forbidden to use the DU message board to organize protests or other actions against members of the Democratic Party.

If the administrators of DU decide that the rhetoric of your posts would be more appropriate on Free Republic than on DU, then you are going to get banned.

I know what side I am on. If you are rooting against the Democratic Party in this election, then just let me know by posting in this thread and I will shut off your account myself.

To repeat: these changes are in effect until the election is over. At that point, we will review whether it is in the best interests of DU to remove these restrictions.

Drunkenness Rating: 24 beers

I remember my first college party like it was yesterday. Butch, Mike, and I hopped aboard the local transit bus and followed the crowd. Following the crowd was something you did when you didn't know where a good party was. When the bus stops and 40 people get off at the same stop, you know you're in the right place. Also, everyone took the bus. The bus was free if you showed your student ID, stopped at all the major apartment complexes, and was the perfect designated driver.

While we were on the bus, I overheard this hot chick speaking Greek. I didn't know a lot of Greek, but one of my old high school chums was originally from Greece, so I knew the basic swear words. She about had an orgasm when I said something. "Oh.. You speak Greek!" she cried. "Please speak some Greek to me!" What could I do? Since I didn't know anything un-offensive, I cussed her out in Greek. I laid out every Greek insult and slur I knew. Oddly enough she was completely impressed. Unfortunately though, it was not meant to be. We were on a mission to find a party, and 40 people had just gotten off the bus, so we had to leave her. She declined our invitation, and Mike and Butch ended up dragging me off the bus, away from this Greek beauty.

Continuing our quest, we made our way into some strangers apartment, where they were having a multi-kegger party. They had a keg set up in the kitchen, behind a bar, but there had to be more than 120 people in a mob waiting to be served. The mob was peaceful, and there was music blaring, so we joined them. There were so many people that it took a good 30 minutes just to work our way up to the front of the mob. Eventually, we made it to the front, and had our cups filled with the delicious foamy golden nectar that is Milwaukee's Best.

If you've never had Milwaukee's Best, you missed out on a real treat. Beast, as it was affectionately known, wasn't brewed like a normal beer. Instead, some of Wisconsin's finest drunks gather around and piss into a huge vat. Miller Brewing Co. refines it a bit, takes out some of the impurities, and calls it Milwaukee's Best.

Anyway, my friends started to peel away from the bar to go find some corner somewhere, but I stayed put. Butch said something to me, but I told him that I was staying close to the beer. I mean, geez, it took me 30 minutes just to get up there. So they went their own way, while I struck up a conversation with the guy running the keg. I'll just call him apartment-dude, because there is no way I can remember his name.

Apartment-dude was obviously very tired, and seemed perturbed about something. After brief introductions, he freely admitted that he'd rather be with his friends and roommates, but instead he got stuck pouring the beer. Maybe it was his frustration, or perhaps it was the beer, but I convinced him to let me run things. I promised that he and his friends would always get quick service whenever they passed their cups forward, and I'd run the keg for him.

Now, if you've never had the chance to be the most popular guy in a room full of drunken college students, I highly recommend it. Within minutes, everyone in the place knew my name, and everyone wanted beer. Now, the apartment-dude and his friends took priority, and my friends got special treatment. Of course all the pretty ladies got served first, but generally everyone got what they wanted. I'm not sure why this guy was so upset, because I was more than happy to stand up there and serve beer to everyone. I must have met a hundred or more nice thirsty people that night. And of course, everyone is happy to get free beer.

After pouring out around two and a half kegs of cheap beer, the crowd started thinning out. The keg I was working on went dry, so I yelled to apartment dude that we needed another one.

"Hey apartment-dude, the keg is dry," I yelled. I was a bit too tipsy to even notice the police officer he was speaking to.

"Steve, the police are here!" he screamed back. "Perhaps you'd better go."

Now, I'm not one to argue with a suggestion like that. While having a good time was on my agenda, spending the night in the drunk tank wasn't. So, I made a hasty exit, waving to the officer as I sneaked by. After meeting up with my friends outside, we hopped on the bus and headed for home. Overall, the evening was quite a blast.

I don't want to leave the impression that I'm an alcoholic or anything. I don't attend meetings, nor have I ever been through any twelve step programs. However, I believe that having fun and living your life to the fullest are essential to happiness.

My parents taught me that it is ok to drink, be merry, and have fun, as long you stay safe, and always take care of your responsibilities. I always make it to work on time, and always meet all my commitments, therefore I have no problems with sharing the tipsy side of my life with you. That said, I bring you my Drunk Story of the Day.

As a disclaimer, I must say that I never have been very good at anecdotes. Taking stories from my life and making them sound the least bit interesting is very difficult to do in print. While people that know me personally may find these stories to be interesting, I'm not sure how well they'll play out with total strangers.

Now for the legal disclaimer: These events being described are real, and are depicted as they actually happened. The names of those involved have NOT been changed, to protect anyone. If you are featured in one of my stories in an unflattering way, tough titty. You should have thought of that before you made such an ass of yourself. The legal staff at Ravenwood's Universe remind you to always drink responsibly. Remember, the activities described within were performed by trained professionals and should not be imitated.

Fox News had Harold Schechter on this morning as a sort of expert on serial killers. While I have never read Schechter's book, "A to Z Encyclopedia of Serial Killers", he seemed knowledgable of the subject. I respected Schechter's opinion up until he inserted his liberal anti-gun agenda into his analysis.

Schechter theorized that the Beltway Sniper might be a "sportsman or gun enthusiast." He matter of factly stated that "these people are often sportsmen and gun enthusiasts who are obviously very disturbed and twisted individuals who decide to progress from shooting at tin cans to shooting at people."

If find the suggestion that ordinary sport shooting can "progress" from shooting at targets to hunting humans to be offensive. Such a description is as ludicrous as describing hit and run drivers as people who are often car enthusiasts who progress from driving on the street to driving on the sidewalk.

There are two different types of celebrities in the world. There are the Robin Williamses, and there are the Babs and Alec Baldwins.

Which one do you think I'd want to buy a beer, and which one do you think I wouldn't give a glass of water to if their hair was on fire?

Yesterday I predicted Iowa State would beat Oklahoma and Air Force would beat Notre Dame. All those years as a Hokie has given me a soft spot for underdogs. That partially explains why I get so apprehensive about Virginia Tech being favored in most of their games.

Ok, so Iowa State didn't quite pan out, but Air Force has a legitimate shot at beating ND. The strange thing, as CNNSI points out, is that Notre Dame could actually benefit from a loss at Air Force tonight.

You see Notre Dame is the only team in the NCAA with a special BCS rule. The rule basically says that if an at-large team goes a BCS bowl, so does Notre Dame, as long as they have at least nine wins or end up in the Top Ten. If Air Force were to beat Notre Dame and then run the table, they'd probably qualify for a BCS at-large bid. That means if Notre Dame won just 3 more games the rest of the season to give them nine wins, they automatically go, regardless of who is ahead of them. It would be a sort of package deal.

So, if Notre Dame is going to lose a game, this is the one to do it. It would actually be more favorable to ND for them to lose to Air Force, simply because they are an at-large team capable of throwing a monkey wrench into the BCS, rather than losing to say Florida State or USC later in the season.

Personally, I think they need to throw the whole system out the window and go back to strictly using the AP and Coaches polls. Either that, or have a playoff, but we know that will never happen.

Amish Tech Support has turned over 100,000 hits. While some people are bending over forward to congratulate Laurence, our staff writers are saying "big deal." We can make our hit counter say 100,000 or even 1,000,000 if we want to.

100,000 hits sounds impressive until you hear about this Pokemon site that hit 300,000. And here is a Statistical Computing site that has over 1,000,000 hits. Who the hell cares about statistical computing?!

Here is an X-Files fan site that has over 700,000 hits. Christ, the X-Files TV show didn't even have that many VIEWERS, how did a fan site ever get that many hits? Even this non-English baby names site has over 230,000 hits, so what is so special about 100,000?

Well, we will concede that 100,000 is a bit impressive for a non-porn site. And while Laurence doesn't use blogspot, he may just have set an endurance record for Blogger. We also noticed that his weblog turned 100,000 only after he took his picture off the front page.

Ok, perhaps some of our staff writers are just a tad bit envious. Maybe they would rather be on the A-list of blogs, with an inbox filled with love and praise instead of the usual hate mail and Nigerian email scams. Still, I am quite happy with the little niche I've carved out in the blogosphere. Besides, I don't want my blog taking on a life of its own, demanding "Feed me, Seymour!"

You need look no further than Idaho to see just what politicians will do to hold on to political power. Take a look at the timeline of their term limits law.

In 1994, Idaho voters instituted term limits through a voter referendum. The measure passed with 59% of the vote.

Stunned, lawmakers put the measure on the ballot again in 1998. Despite a brutal campaign of political rhetoric and lies, the Idaho voters reaffirmed the measure with 54% of the vote, in favor of term limits.

Not to be dissuaded, lawmakers sued to overturn the term limits in 1999, on the grounds that term limits unconsitutionally denied voters the right to suffrage. The Legislature won their lawsuit, and term limits were struck down.

The decision was appealed to the Idaho Supreme Court, which ruled that the term limits law was indeed constitutional, and term limits were upheld.

Just days after the Idaho Supreme Court affirmed the term limits referendum, the Legislature drafted a bill to override the term limits. Naturally it passed, and term limits were repealed.

Enter the Governor. The Governor sided with the will of the people, and vetoed the legislation. Term limits were upheld.

Within 36 hours, the Legislature overrode the Governor's veto. Term limits were repealed.

Down but not out, the citizens of Idaho have put a referendum on the 2002 ballot to restore term limits AGAIN.

However, adding insult to the Idaho voters is the fact that opposition to the referendum comes from taxpayer funded sources. As if it isn't bad enough lawmakers are turning a deaf ear to the will of Idaho voters, now they are using their own tax money to campaign against them.

Rutgers brought their A-game to Virginia Tech, although a late DeAngelo Hall punt return for a TD made the score look a little better for Tech. VT was a 42 point favorite, but ended up beating Rutgers 35-14. The fact that they jumped out to a 21-0 lead in the first quarter, and only had one other offensive touchdown illustrates how their offense stalled for the rest of the game.

Both Tech running backs had big days, but Lee Suggs was charged with a fumble, only the second in his college career. (Both against Rutgers) Tech outrushed Rutgers 343-0, but three Hokie turnovers helped Rutgers stay in the game. The defense came up with some big plays including an interception on the goal line, and a fourth down stand inside their own 20.

It should be noted that VT downed the ball on the Rutgers 5 yard line to run out the clock, rather than try to run up the score. If the BCS computers still factored in margin of victory, perhaps they would have tried to punch it in.

Over at WVU, they must not be aware of the change in BCS calculations. West Virginia, leading Syracuse 27-7 rushed for a touchdown rather than run out the clock with 15 seconds left. They did opt to kick the extra point rather than go for two and ended up winning at home 34-7.

It is a little known fact that esteemed statesman, Benjamin Franklin, attended Virginia Tech and was a Hokie.

Franklin once noted that: "I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country; he is a bird of bad moral character. The turkey is a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America."

My Hokies are on upset watch tomorrow against Rutgers. The way I see it, nothing good can happen from playing Rutgers. Rutgers lost to VT 99-0 over the past two years, and they lost to West Virginia last week 40-0.

At best, Tech will beat Rutgers bad, and their strength of schedule ranking will still go down. At worst, they'll lose and ruin any chances of a national title shot. In between, they could put up mediocre numbers and end up dropping behind Ohio State, something that happened to OSU after their scare versus Cinci.

I still think Notre Dame is going to get knocked off soon. Since Pitt couldn't pull it off last weekend, I'm looking for Air Force to do it this week. Also, look for Iowa State to beat Oklahoma this week. They looked impressive versus Nebraska two weeks ago, and a narrow loss to FSU is the only thing keeping them from being in the Top 10.

Over a month ago I brought you the story of a UK man facing jail time for defending his home and family from a burglar.

Although he was cleared of murder, the judge has passed down a sentence of five years in prison for manslaughter.

The UK message to criminals is clear: Our citizens are not only disarmed, we will prosecute them for defending themselves against your attack.

In other Second Amendment news, Virginians are pissing in Sarah Brady's cheerios by applying for concealed carry permits in record numbers. The NY Post is reporting that some northern Virginia counties have had a 500% increase in CCW permit applications in recent weeks.

"We're seeing a lot of women, which is a change from traditional permit applicants," says Barbara Brinklow, deputy clerk of the Spotsylvania circuit court. "They say their husbands sent them in."

Bully for the feminists. Womyn are perfectly capable of defending themselves, and men shouldn't have to escort them to the mall or the beauty parlor. (I'm gonna get hate mail for that one)

As if that isn't enough to tick off the left, some gun shop owners have reported a 300% increase in the sale of firearms. I can hear the whining now. "People will be gunned down in the streets!" Oh wait, that is already happening.

Fox News reports that apparently the Democratic Socialists were just kidding about busing students into Minnesota for them to register and then vote for Senator Wellstone.

They still intend to bus some students in, but they will merely be holding an election day protest. They have no intention of illegally voting in the election.

With all the talk of ballistic fingerprinting and how it would have already caught the beltway sniper, Fox News takes a look at some of the startling facts about the theory.

In case you are unfamiliar with what ballistic fingerprinting is, it involves sending a fired bullet and spent casing to a government agency prior to selling a firearm. In theory, any crime scene bullets and casings could then be matched to a firearm in the central database. However, despite both Maryland and New York already requiring fingerprinting, it hasn't helped solve a single crime. Maryland fingerprinting 17,000 firearms since January 2000, and not one has been matched to a crime scene.

A report done by California ballistics experts concluded that computer matching fails 38% of the time with same manufacturer cartridges. The failure rate climbs to a whopping 62% with cartridges from different manufacturers. With many shooters reloading their cartridges, matching would be all but impossible. And matching bullets is even more futile, because they are deformed and fragmented upon impact. What is very telling is that the California report was silenced by California's own Attorney General's office. The AG, Bill Lockyer, who takes a strong gun control stance, has not only silenced the report, but prohibited the ballistics experts from even discussing the topic itself.

Other problems with the practice are that ballistic 'fingerprints' change over time. The inside of a gun barrel wears over time, and can be easily altered. You could also just as easily purchase a new barrel, which would change the ballistics completely.

This doesn't stop gun grabbers like the Coalition to Stop Gun Ownership Violence and the Brady Campaign from using high profile killings to further their agenda. They are touting ballistic fingerprinting like it's as cut and dry as human fingerprints and DNA evidence.

The sad fact is that this practice will do nothing to solve crime, yet will cost millions to implement. It is 'feel good' legislation that does nothing more than help further the gun grabbing agenda of selling less guns.

The Washington Post offers up some tips for staying safe in the DC area. Well, at least they aren't inciting a panic.

- While outside, try to keep moving. A moving target is more difficult to hit than one that is standing still.
Yeah, try running in small circles and ducking and weaving. You should also try to blend in with your surroundings. Try camouflaging yourself as a drunken bum, a mailbox or a pile of garbage.

- When moving outside, walk briskly in a zigzag pattern.
Not too much of a pattern, make sure that you randomize so they don't know which way you're heading next. You should also try running quickly from telephone pole to telephone pole.

- If you must remain in one place in an area where you feel vulnerable, select the darkest part of the area to sit or stand in.
Try hiding in an alley. Also petition the Governor of Maryland to ban streetlights, so the whole city will be dark. Cars should also run without headlights so as not to attract attention.

- If you are fueling your car, stand between your vehicle and the gas pump and bend your knees to lower your profile.
Better yet, just buy a new car. It's not worth the risk. If you absolutely must buy gas, try laying down underneath your vehicle or getting into your trunk while you pump it.

- If you are fired on in an open area, drop to the ground and roll away from where you were standing. Look for the closest protective cover and run toward it in short, zigzag dashes.
After shitting your pants, make sure you duck and cover. It was good enough to teach to our kids during the nuclear scare of the 50s, it's good enough now. Better yet, grab the nearest person and use them as a human shield. If they were too stupid to duck and cover, they are probably dead meat any way.

- Be constantly aware of your surroundings while outside. Note any suspicious vehicles or activities, move away from them and report them to the police.
While waiting at stoplights, write down the license plate numbers of all the cars around you. Better yet, don't stop for lights, it is just too dangerous. Also, scrunch down real low in your seat to make yourself a small target.

- Remember that a sniper with the right equipment can shoot accurately from about 500 yards away, the equivalent of five football fields.
That's TEN Arena Football fields. Also remember that high powered rifle rounds are supersonic. You'll never hear the shot that kills you.

Thanks to Mrs. DuToit for the link.

Two months ago I wrote about red light cameras being more about revenue and less about safety. Now the D.C. Mayor has had the gall to admit just that.

The Washington Times reports the D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams has admitted "that the cameras were about 'money and safety.' The mayor is also reported to have said that the city was looking to expand the program, in part, to earn revenue to offset a projected $323 million budget deficit."

This has sparked AAA to pull their support for red light cameras in D.C. AAA spokesman, Lon Anderson says that there "have been studies that show that red-light cameras can cause an increase of rear-end accidents, but there aren't any hard numbers yet. The only reason we found out about the accident increases in San Diego is because the courts forced them to release all of the data," he said. The Times goes on to note that the San Diego vendor, Lockheed Martin IMS, placed cameras too close to the intersection and reduced the yellow-light time to make the cameras more profitable.

Mr. Anderson was also reported as being "furious" over the D.C. Mayor's stance on red light cameras. He goes on to say that "there is a mixed message being sent here. When using these cameras you should not have a vested interest in catching one person running a red light or speeding."

The fact remains that the best way to improve safety at intersections is to increase yellow light time. Cameras are just another tax on the public, and in many cases cause more accidents through rear end collisions than they prevent.

Woody Harrelson tells us what he'd do if he were President:

I'd honour Kyoto. Join the world court. I'd stop subsidising earth rapers like Monsanto, Dupont and Exxon. I'd shut down the nuclear power plants. So I already have $200bn saved from corporate welfare. I'd save another $100bn by stopping the war on non-corporate drugs. And I'd cut the defence budget in half so they'd have to get by on a measly $200bn a year. I've already saved half a billion bucks by saying no to polluters and warmongers.

Then I'd give $300bn back to the taxpayers. I'd take the rest and pay the people teaching our children what they deserve. I'd put $100bn into alternative fuels and renewable energy. I'd revive the Chemurgy movement, which made the farmer the root of the economy, and make paper and fuel from wheat straw, rice straw and hemp. Not only would I attend, I'd sponsor the next Earth Summit. And, of course, I'd give myself a fat raise.

When TV satirist Bill Maher made some dissenting remarks about the bombing of Afghanistan, Disney pulled the plug on him. In a country that lauds its freedom of speech, a word of dissent can cost you your job.

Askmen.com lists the Top 10 Wacky Lawsuits.

No, they couldn't have. They promised Bill Clinton, who sent them US nuclear technology in 1994, that they'd only use it for power plants.

Meanwhile, check out the dossier on North Korea put together by the Council on Foreign Relations.

The Washington Post had this gem about French military power. Apparently France is tired of being called "second-tier", and wants to create "capability to project military force anywhere in the world."

[Defense Minister Michele Alliot-Marie] said she wants to tell the United States that after years of giving short shrift to its armed forces, France is now serious about heeding American calls for its European partners to share more of the burden.

Though France is still one of the world's major military powers, with nuclear weapons and a seat on the U.N. Security Council, it has only one aircraft carrier, the Charles de Gaulle, and the vessel has to spend four months in dry dock for maintenance after each year of operation. Helicopters are often grounded for lack of spare parts.

Its no wonder we are always bailing them out. Why would any country voluntarily let a foreign country (or union) dictate how much they spend militarily.

Well, this should stop the sniper. I mean, he wouldn't dare violate the Governor's shooting ban, would he?

Maryland Governor Parris Glendening, who earlier this month resorted to begging the sniper for mercy, has banned outdoor shooting in four Maryland counties for 30 days. I'm not sure why Parris thinks he has this authority, but he's gonna try to do it.

Several deer hunts will have to be cancelled and there is no mention as to whether or not hunters will be allowed to get refunds on their hunting licenses. (Our staff writers are skeptical)

I'm not advocating anyone breaking the law, but I'd like to see one of these hunting organizations thumb their nose (or something else) at the tyrannical Governor and go ahead with the hunts anyway.

Cigarette sales in NYC dropped 64 percent in one month. So much for Bloomberg's plan to balance the budget with cigarette money.

The real losers are the independent retailers who count on cigarette sales as a large source of their revenue.

Even though I quit traveling every week for work, I still fly someplace about once per month. My impression of the airline industry has been declining over the years.

IMHO we need about three or four airline bankruptcies. I'd like to see a complete restructuring of the airline industry, and the emergence of some companies that actually give a shit about their customers.

The fact that they are charging people to fly standby completely blows my mind.

Saddam Hussein has won re-election with 100% of the vote, beating out his previous record of 99.96%. The AP notes that Iraq "offered no explanation for how it tabulated paper ballots from remote regions across the country of 22 million people overnight. "

Al Gore, who was running on a write in campaign is demanding a recount in the Democratic strongholds of Ar Rutbah, Mosul, and Karkuk.

Google has me listed 5th for "Newsbabes". Oddly enough, I get more hits from Yahoo where I'm 13th.

I can only imagine the look on guys faces when they search for "Newsbabes" or "Infobabes" and get me instead of this.

O'Briens victory will be ''a wonderful way to celebrate the 10th anniversary of my victory in 1992.'' -- Bill Clinton, campaigning for himself and a fellow Democrat, Shannon O'Brien in the Massachussetts Governor race.

You would think that even Democrats would be tired of this guy.

UPDATE: I wonder if the Republican challenger, Mitt Romney will start campaigning that an O'Brien defeat will be a celebration of the Jimmy Carter defeat in 1980.

How is this legal? The Democratic Socialists of America want to bus people into Minnesota to register to vote on election day (which is legal in Minnesota) and vote for Senator Wellstone. Aren't there residency restrictions? Can you just register to vote anywhere you want and vote there? I guess they are targeting students because of their transiency and because they presumably won't vote AGAIN where ever they are from.

Send A Student To Minnesota!
DSA's national electoral project this year is the Minnesota Senate Election. Together with YDS, DSA's Youth Section, we are mobilizing to bring young people to Minnesota. Minnesota is one of the few states that allow same day voter registration. We will therefore focus our energy on registering young Minnesotans. Wellstone will need a high percentage of young people to register and vote for him if he is to stave off the campaign that Bush, the Republicans and the Greens are waging against him. He is the Right's Number One electoral target.

So what is this thing about Trackback Pinging? What does it do, and how many people actually participate? Is it worth the hassle to set up?

Carnival of the Vanities 4 has been published at Silflay Hraka and Blogcritics.

Carnival is a listing of the week's often overlooked quality posts that just didn't get the attention they deserved the first time around. Its like a rerun of the Cannes Blog Festival, except with good stuff.

An obvious Virginia fan has written to CNNSI to bash my beloved Virginia Tech:

Why is it that so many people in the media hold Virginia Tech in such high regard? I mean, the Hokies' history over the last 10 years is filled with criminal behavior and poor academic performance, and year in and year out they play one of the weakest schedules in Division I-A. Virginia Tech's ledger is stacked with nonconference cupcakes and obviously overrated ranked teams (see: LSU, Texas A&M), not to mention the pathetic excuse for a conference that is the Big East (no offense intended, Miami). I guess what I'm trying to say is: What makes this team worthy of a top-five ranking? To give credit where it is due, I will concede that the defense and special teams are impressive, but often against unworthy opponents. Care to provide any musings?
--Samuel Karns, Manassas, Va.

As for the rest of VT's schedule, BC should be top 25, but losses to #1 Miami and #3 Tech have kept them out. Pitt put on an impressive showing at Notre Dame last week and should end up with a December Bowl. Virginia is coming back from their slow start, and WVU is looking better this year as well.

Nitwits like Kerns obviously have no idea what goes into scheduling NCAA football. First of all, schedules are laid out 5 years or so in advance. You can put a quality team like Notre Dame on your schedule, but there is no guarentee that they'll show up with a winning record in 5 years. Also, football teams need a certain number of home games to balance out their away games. Traveling is very expensive, and sometimes mutual agreements between schools cannot be reached. For instance VT has been trying to schedule Tennessee, who is just down the road, for several years now. Tennessee has been holding firm that they want 2 home games. Virginia Tech cannot afford to give up two home games and wants to split them home and away. So far the schools are no where near reaching an agreement to play each other.

As for the Big East as a conference, we have the best bowl record over the past two years. You cannot argue with success like that.

Cigars have been an obsession with me for about 10 years now, even more so in recent years. Since I am 50+ miles from the nearest decent tobacconist, I generally rely on mail order. A few weeks ago I set out to order a box of 25 Montecristo No. 3s (5.5x44). The box of 25 automatically came with a small box of 5 free, and I added on an order of a dozen Te-Amo Magnificos (7x50) that were on close out. This ended up adding 42 cigars to my humidor that was already two thirds or more full.

At last count, my humidor is stuffed with 90+ cigars. At an average value of about $5 per cigar, you figure I have $450 tied up in cigars alone. (The humidor is worth another $300) I had to stack them three high just to get them in there, which means I'll have to rotate them more frequently.

I have a very nice humidor that does the job quite well, but just to be safe, I've taken to regulating the humidity in my entire apartment. My apartment is much smaller than my house in Atlanta was, so I got out the humidifier and brought the relative humidity up to 50 to 60%. This is sustainable during the fall since I don't have to run the air or the heater too much. The A/C and heater cause the humidity in my apartment to drop to 30% or lower, which in turn, sucks the humidity out of my humidor very quickly. I could just put a plastic bag over the humidor to prevent this, but I'd rather just run the humidifier.

The really sad thing is that I don't smoke cigars that often. Maybe one or two per week.

Both Daschle and 'Gebhardt' have mentioned that a tax cut may help stimulate the economy.

Fox News reports that Gebhardt proposed $75 billion in tax cuts "to help working families and encourage company investment in the near term."

Republicans have been saying that for years.

The General Account Office released a report on the upcoming crack down on people who purchase cigarettes over the internet to avoid paying prohibitive local taxes.

Staff writers at Ravenwood's Universe said previously that we feel this is the precursor to a global internet sales tax. The leap between collecting cigarette taxes and general sales taxes is a small one.

It is amazing that Reuters and MSNBC are reporting this as if it is a legitimate election:

BAGHDAD, Iraq, Oct. 15 - Amid vows to defend President Saddam Hussein to the death, Iraqis cast ballots in a nationwide presidential referendum on Tuesday certain to be declared a landslide victory. A win for Saddam would extend his rule by seven years.

If you wade through the anti-American comments and look hard enough, you'll find this tidbit buried in the story:

But the result is a forgone conclusion with the voting process tightly controlled by the authorities and with no independent observers or other candidates.

Spoons refutes the "We license cars, why not guns" argument with hilarious results.

Go. Read it. Enjoy.

As it stands right now, there is virtually no way to restore your gun rights once they have been taken away.

The issue at hand is a firearms dealer, Thomas Bean, who inadvertently tried to cross into Mexico with 200 rounds of ammunition in his car. That landed him an immediate felony conviction and five year sentence in Mexico without even having a trial. Mexico turned him over to the US to serve out his sentence, after which a federal judge in Texas commuted it. Under US law however, even the foreign felony conviction means that Bean loses his firearms dealer's license.

Bean, wanting to restore his business, tried negotiating the process of restoring his firearms license. However, the process of restoring licenses falls on the ATF, and Congress has conveniently cut off funding to the ATF for this function. In effect, the ATF is unable to perform the function that the law demands of them. They even told Bean that they could not make a decision due to lack of funding. They didn't turn him down, they just failed to process his claim.

After hitting that road block, Bean looked to the federal courts to restore his license. Enter the gun grabbers. Now anti-gun nazis at the Violence Policy Center (VPC) are lobbying to deny the courts the right to step in and act because the ATF's hands are tied. The effect is that there is no way for someone to restore their firearm's license once it has been revoked.

The matter has gone to go to the Supreme Court. If they rule in Bean's favor, it would be an affirmation of the government stance that the right to keep and bear arms is an individual right. The interpretation of the Second Amendment may be at stake here. So far, every federal court has upheld the reinstatement of Bean's license, and the right of the federal courts to act when the ATF will not. That doesn't stop gun grabbers at the VPC from trying to take away Bean's livelihood, though. Those fuckers bastards would love to see another firearms dealer out of business, even if it does ruin his life. Me thinks there is a special place in hell for those people.

Here are some of the testimonials I've received in recent months (in no particular order):

"I seldom agree with him and sometimes feel a little anger, but agree he is nearly always courteous and often injects a splash humor." -- Richard

"I am smitten with you." -- Da Goddess.

"This year's hottest new star." -- David Manning, Ridgefield Press

"GAAAAAA! MAKE IT STOP!" -- Owen Courreges

"You're so sensible! Yes, yes, yes! I'll marry you!" -- Da Goddess

"Just remember I do have another child!!!!" -- My father

"Well Done!" -- Dave Worley

"AT THE EXCELLENT RAVENWOOD" -- Gregory Hlatky at A Dog's Life

"I admire someone who means what he says and says what he means." -- Jack Cluth at TPRS

"it's very good!" -- Dave Worley at Greeblie

"I like animated flags." -- Larry Simon at Amish Tech Support

"Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed." -- Darth Vader

My old boss gave me a good reference once. He told my new boss, "If you can get this guy to work for you, you'll be lucky."

Speaking of raising children, do parents still hand down clothes from child to child, or do they just buy all new clothes now?

When I was a kid, I used to get boxes of clothes in the mail, shipped to me from my cousin Tazteck's mom. After I grew out of them, they were boxed back up and sent back to his little brother. I can tell you, those clothes were seriously out of style, and had been patched several times by the time they got them back.

After we pointed out that ESPN was calling the Hokies the 'Huskies' by mistake, they changed their website.

It is nice to know that ESPN staffers are readily monitoring this site, looking for ways to improve. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to inform the staff writers at the Universe, and we'll pass it on to ESPN.

Every time I use one of the new, harder to counterfeit 20 dollar bills, the clerk looks at me like I'm a counterfeiter, and writes on it with a special marker to make sure it's valid.

In retaliation, I have started carrying my own plain black marker and writing on any bills I receive as change. The ordinary black marker, of course, makes a mark on the bill, so I promptly hand it back and say, "This one's no good, gimme another one."

Meanwhile, any small bills I receive in change are immediately held up the light and tested for quality, while I spy the clerk suspiciously.

Only in California. You may or may not be aware of a growing movement to address the backpack weight problems for our nation's children. Apparently a bunch of California whiners have been griping about their kids having to carry heavy books around from class to class and home each day after school. In response, California has passed a new law limiting text book weight, and Sun Valley High School in Ramona, has begun issuing books on CD-ROM and pushing for kids to do all their work on computers.

I can hear next year's gripes already. First of all, not all kids can afford to have a good computer at home. No problem, the state can simply issue them and raise taxes to pay for it.

Well, what about the eye strain and myopia that increase as a result of staring at a computer monitor. No problem, the state can simply issue quality 21" state of the art flat screen monitors, and raise taxes to pay for it. Kids could also be enrolled in state funded eye care insurance plans. That should further the nationalized health care agenda to boot.

Remember folks, California drives the American economy. Text-book manufacturers aren't going to print a California-edition, so books in your state are going to change as well. Also, New Jersey is following closely behind their liberal cousin with their own text book legislation.

Meanwhile, opponents of the new legislation offer up some common sense, something that is rare in both California and New Jersey. First of all, lets try putting lockers back into schools. Rolling backpacks also seem like an easy enough solution. Despite what some anti-textbook people are saying, cheap rolling backpacks can be purchased for $20. Also, teaching kids to use BOTH straps of a backpack might help as well, even if does make them look like a 'dweeb'.

All of this pampering and nannyism is making me worry about the future of this country. Could we have liberated Europe in WWII with people that had grown up whining about every little thing?

"Sarge, my rifle is too heavy. Do I have to carry all these bullets around with me?"

CNNSI offers a poll with the following results (as of right now):

Which of these teams can beat Miami?
13% - Tennessee on Nov. 9
4% - Pittsburgh on Nov. 21
55% - Virginia Tech on Dec. 7
28% - No one can beat the 'Canes

UPDATE: On the ESPN front, I thought that VT was getting a bit more respect until I saw that ESPN calls them the 'Huskies'.

What should I expect, from the network that constantly referes to Vegas Robinson as 'Ferguson', and Kevin Jones as 'Keith'. I also almost pulled my hair out when they kept calling them 'Virginia', which is akin to calling Florida State, 'Florida'.

I cannot decide on an entry to submit for Silflay Hraka's Carnival of the Vanities 4.

I'm torn between CBS for Gun Banning, Notre Dame will lose to Pitt (which would be better if it had come true), Intemperate Thoughts: France, and Hollywood Libs: Listen to us, we is smart.

Any thoughts?

60 Minutes journalist, Trevor Nelson, had a story last night about taking away the right to own and purchase a firearm for those that have had a history of mental illness. At issue is the Brady Bill which is supposed to prevent anyone who has been involuntarily committed to a mental institution from purchasing a gun. The problem with the legislation, according to CBS, is that the states haven't been forced to turn over mental health records to law enforcement agencies who run the national instant background check service. The proposal is to force the states to turn over mental illness records by threatening to decrease in federal pork-barrel money.

The typical CBS liberal bias showed clearly through in the reporting. They started their story by playing off of the 'Beltway Sniper' that has been in the news recently, even though their story had nothing to do with the 'Beltway Sniper'. From the very beginning, Trevor Nelson called the rifle that the 'Beltway Sniper' is using a "weapon of mass-destruction", and compared him to Saddam Hussein. Not only is this grossly inaccurate, it is disparaging to the innocent Iraqi people who live and die in fear of Saddam Hussein.

Next, he referred to Americans for Gun Banning Safety, AGS, as a group "which supports strict enforcement of existing gun laws." This is at best a half truth. AGS routinely lobbies for strict gun control laws. A quick visit to their site shows that they are supporting several new federal gun control laws, as well as countless "AGS state initiatives", which or nothing more than state level gun control legislation that they are lobbying to pass. Hardly a group that should be characterized as merely supporting "strict enforcement of existing laws."

On the other side of the coin, CBS demonized Gun Owners of America, GOA, as "the gun lobby." No, to CBS it is not a group of American citizens banded together to preserve their unalienable right to own and possess a firearm, it is "the gun lobby."

Trevor also claimed that "you might think there'd be little opposition [to the gun ban], but you'd be wrong." Gee Trevor, maybe I don't swallow your liberal bullshit hook line and sinker like some folks. Perhaps I think for myself and don't need you telling me what I may or may not think.

He then continued to demonize both GOA and the National Mental Health Association (NMHA), who is simply looking out for the rights of the mentally ill. Both groups were characterized as a "powerful special interest groups that helped create the loophole in the first place." GOA, as Trevor puts it "opposes ANY restrictions to ANYONE owning a gun." (Emphasis theirs)

Spokesman for the NMHA quite plainly said that they don't feel that people who may have had a history of mental illness should be restricted from owning a firearm. They discount the belief that a person with a mental illness is inherently violent and psychotic. Trevor Nelson seemed to disagree with that message and said, that the NMHA is using the same "agenda" as the "gun lobby." He went on to gloss over the gun ban by adding, "we are not talking about their right to due process, we are not talking about their right to vote, we are not talking about anything other than their right to buy a firearm". Yeah, we only want to take away their unalienable (that which cannot be taken away) right to keep and bear arms. What is so bad about that? Hate to break it to you Trevor, but there is a reason that it is the SECOND Amendment. Number TWO, as in Bill of Rights, not number FOURTEEN.

Trevor also offered up this gem: "As a matter of common sense, it seems like a good idea to try and keep firearms out of the hands of people that don't know the difference between right and wrong. Call me crazy..." Gee Trevor, if we called you crazy, we'd have to take away YOUR rights, yes? The notion that someone who is mentally ill, inherently doesn't know the difference between right and wrong, and is violent, and a threat to society is not only ignorant, it's insensitive. CBS continues the insensitivity by constantly referring to the mentally ill as "psychotic and delusional".

In the interview with AGS spokesman, Jim Kessler, Trev let this little gem slip by: "Nobody wants to stigmatize the mentally ill, but when somebody walks into a church or walks into their office place and kills 6 or 7 people, that is going to stigmatize the mentally ill more than any law we are talking about here that keeps the mentally ill from getting guns."

You'd expect a real journalist to call him on that. Hey Jim, lets change that argument to a protected group. How about blacks. Lets say that we're gonna keep all black people from buying guns because one black guy that holds up a convenience store stigmatizes black folk more than simply denying them their unalienable right to keep and bear arms. Is that acceptable? Instead, CBS just gave him a pass.

Overall the report leaned heavily to the left. AGS arguments were met with a nod and agreement, while the opposition was given the 'but that goes against common sense' treatment. As usual, it was also followed closely by the 'they're just the gun lobby and oppose everything' mantra. At the end of the story, Trevor Nelson noted that the law to toughen up the Brady Bill was gutted in committee, and won't be changing any time soon.

The New Black Panther Party is being criticized for being divisive and racist. The noteworthy part of the story is that the criticism is coming from the OLD Black Panther Party.

Author and historian Stephen Ambrose has died at 66.

Yet another "What ______ are you?" quiz. This upsets me more than being the Swedish Chef of muppets. I thought for sure I'd be the albino.

(credit Blogatelle, who was just as excited I was about being Vizzini, for the link)

This will give me nightmares:

When I was married at the age of 22 and relishing an active sex life, I assumed that this was a pleasure that my middle-aged parents rarely, if ever, enjoyed. Now, well past 70, Rosalynn and I have learned to accommodate each other's desires more accurately and generously, and have never had a more complete and enjoyable relationship. -- Jimmy Carter

(credit Spoons for the link)

Well, obviously Nostradamus doesn't know shit about football. I should have known when he picked St. Louis to win the NFC championship this year.

I love stories with happy endings.

In North Las Vegas, six burglars brazenly broke into a house while the homeowners were still inside. At least one of them was armed. Steve describes to the Las Vegas Sun how the perpetrators started beating on his front door and then kicked it in. He and his wife barricaded themselves in their bedroom while burglars were trying to open the bedroom door to get at them. Steve and his wife kept their head. Steve's wife was dialing 911, while Steve unlocked his gun safe to retrieve his .380 pistol.

Steve loaded the firearm and shot two of the suspects, one in the shoulder and one in the buttocks. The suspects fled, but the man wounded in the buttocks was unable to scale the wall in the back yard and was apprehended. Steve's neighbors helped out by purchasing and re-hanging a new front door, and scrubbing the blood stains out of his carpet. (That is a good neighbor)

While Steve did the right thing and was justified in protecting his home and family, I have a few suggestions for him:

-- Never aim for the head, as he had admittedly done. A persons head is a small target, and you risk just grazing them. The body is a much bigger target, and a double tap to the chest is much more likely to fall an intruder.

-- I understand you have children, but locking up your gun in a safe may have cost you and your wife your lives. Locking up your unloaded gun put you even further at risk.

-- Next time shoot to kill. Dead men don't sue.

-- Take your neighbors out to dinner.

"The figures released today by the federal government indicate that implementing Kyoto will mean a lower standard of living, a higher tax burden and lower job growth in the years ahead" -- Nancy Hughes Anthony, President and CEO of the Canadian Chamber of Commerce.

Gee, too bad the US opted not to adopt the Kyoto treaty.

In case anyone missed my earlier prediction, I wanted to restate it. I am going out on a limb and picking Pitt over Notre Dame this weekend. I base my prediction mostly on something Nostradamus said over 500 years ago:

"In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
Two brothers torn apart by Chaos,
while the fortress endures, the great leader will succumb,
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning"
--Nostradamus 1654

...there will be a great thunder...
Crowd noise, baby!

Two brothers torn apart by Chaos...
Notre Dame currently has two quarterbacks, and 'Chaos' is the widely used nickname of Pitt's defensive squad.

...while the fortress endures...
The Notre Dame honor and football tradition will endure.

...the great leader will succumb...
There it is, in black and white, Willingham will be defeated.

The third big war will begin...
An obvious football reference. Football is always compared to war. Both have offenses and defenses, coaches equate to generals, quarterbacks, offensive and defensive captains are the officers, while linemen are the soldiers. Plus, game play is often described by analogies such as penetrating into enemy territory, aerial attack, ground attack, etc.

...when the big city is burning.
One definition of burning is "to undergo discomfort or pain". Obviously, the entire city of Southbend will be upset at Notre Dame's loss.

So there it is. Hey, Nostradamus couldn't be wrong, could he?

Senate Minority Leader, Trent Lott, R-MS has declined to attend an October 24, award dinner honoring Harry Belafonte. Belafonte, who basically called Colin Powell an 'Uncle Tom' by comparing him to a 'house slave', will be receiving the Africare Bishop John T. Walker Humanitarian Service Award. Crosswalk reports that Niger Innis of the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE), a conservative African American civil rights group, told CNSNews.com, "I think the senator has done a wise thing and I hope that his staff now forces Africare to remove his name as National Honorary Patron."

Illegitimate Senate Plurality Leader, Tom Daschle, D-SD, has not yet made any comment. I guess he's waiting for the poll results to come in before he decides what to do.

"What does incompetent mean? What does baffled mean?" -- Tony the hotdog vender in the movie 'Highlander', referring to the cop's inability to solve the murders.

Of course, as the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler points out, the Philadelphia Inquirer blames the NRA. (thanks Rachel)

For some reason, my friends in the DC area feel they need to point it out every time they have a shooting. My friend Jenn with two 'n's IM'd me this morning.. "there was yet another shooting this morning in Fredricksburg".

When I lived in Atlanta, we had a good five or six shootings per day. We never went on the national news and announced it though. I never called people up and bragged about it.

"We had another shooting today.. nyah!"

"How many shootings have you had?! Hmm?"

Most people that don't smoke think that cigarette taxes will have no impact on their lives. Well, consider this. For the past several years, states have been chomping at the bit to institute a tax on goods sold over the internet. However, States are currently prevented from taxing across state lines by federal law. Congress revisits the issue every few years and renews the moratorium on internet taxation.

Now think about the prohibitive local sales taxes on cigarettes that have been on the rise lately. The behavior modification taxes have already resulted in more and more smokers shopping for mail order cigarettes on the internet. How long before the States start pressuring the federal government to let them do something about the cigarette tax revenue they are losing via mail order and internet sales? Now, how big is the leap between lost cigarette tax revenue and lost sales tax revenue?

Remember folks, you heard it here first.

"France is now showing a willingness to join the campaign against Saddam? Thanks for the offer, but I don't really think we're going to be needing all that many white flags." -- Talk show host, Neal Boortz, on France showing 'support' for the US against Iraq.

Just because France teaches their military commanders the proper way to surrender, they get no respect.

Reasons to hate France:

-- One word: Jerry Lewis.
-- The French don't bathe regularly.
-- France refused to let us fly over to bomb Libya. As a result our pilots, exhausted from flying around the whole continent of Europe, 'accidentally' bombed the French embassy in Libya.
-- France was a bit eager to turn over non-French Jews to the Nazi's during WWII.
-- France built that STUPID Maginot line along the German border, and declared it to be impenetrable. Hitler thought they might be right, so he simply invaded Belgium and went around it.
-- The French Minister of Surrendering Defense resigned to protest the US liberation of Kuwait.
-- The French harbored admitted murderer Ira Einhorn, because the US has the death penalty.

Virginia Tech pulled off a tough win (28 - 23) at Boston College tonight to improve to 6-0. BC slips to 3-2, but their losses are to #1 ranked Miami and #4 ranked VT. BC looked impressive with 260+ return yards on special teams, but self-destructed with crucial penalties and 4 turnovers. Meanwhile, the Hokies were plagued by penalties, racking up 14 (FOURTEEN) for 99 yards. Their running game looked very good, with 61 rushes for 330 yards. However, Tech's dependence on the run worries me. How will they cope when they face a big defensive team that is good against the run?

Lee Corso kept reminding the audience of an interesting fact. Of the last 14 touchdown drives for Virginia Tech, 11 of them have been for 70+ yards. This was illustrated by the deplorable field position they had for the entire game.

Tech will probably be on upset watch until they face Miami at the end of the season. Big games will include a tough Pitt team at home, Syracuse at the Carrier Dome (where VT almost always loses), and instate rival Virginia.

There are big movements afoot from anti-smoking nazis who want to force property owners to make their establishments smoke free. They say they are "doing it for the helpless employees," who have no other choice but to suffer the vile, deadly, second hand smoke while forced to work at their jobs. Opponents of such measures have pointed out that business owners and employees both suffer a decrease in receipts and tips. They also have the freedom to decide whether or not to work at such an establishment. Proponents say too bad.

Well, now some nice young Canadian girls in the entertainment industry (ok, they're strippers, but so what) are quite upset because the smoking ban is taking money out of their g-string. Tips are way down, and business is falling off due to the ban. You can bet that waiters and waitresses at area restaurants are also losing their shirts. (Ouch, bad pun)

Here in the US, similar laws are on the ballot in Florida and New York City, where anti-smoking busy bodies are bound and determined to take away property rights. I'm not going to revisit my previous rant on this topic, but the plain and simple truth is that property owners have a right to run their own business. If you want to patronize an exclusively non-smoking establishment that is your right. If the demand is high enough, there will be plenty of those places available. If there are no such places, you should open one and wait for the tide of non-smokers to flock to it. Telling others how to run their business is no business of yours. Doing it in the name of the "helpless employees," who end up suffering from lost tips and wages, and increased unemployment, is downright despicable.

Now, I'm not trying to pick on my parents, but this honestly sounds like something my dad would do.

The Register notes that Microsoft has had an epiphany.

Numerous studies have confirmed for Microsoft what any fool knows: people are not much interested in a home-entertainment device masquerading as a computer that burns special mission-impossible DVDs which can't be played on any device other than the specific machine which recorded them.

Unfortunately, that's just how MS designed its new Windows Media Center PCs, apparently in hopes of pleasing the entertainment industry, which considers listening to or viewing its products to be a criminal act in all but the most rigidly-controlled, preferably supervised, situations.

Stupidity Watch, from the Best of the Web yesterday:

Consider two aspects of globalization: first, planes exploding as they slam into the World Trade Center, and second, the emission of carbon dioxide from the exhaust of gas-guzzling sport-utility vehicles. One brought instant death and left unforgettable images that were watched on television screens all over the world; the other makes a contribution to climate change that can be detected only by scientific instruments. Yet both are indications of the way in which we are now one world, and the more subtle changes to which sport-utility-vehicle owners unintentionally contribute will almost certainly kill far more people than the more visible aspect of globalization.
-- Peter Singer, Princeton ethicist, in the Chronicle of Higher Education.

Ravenwood's Universe is "Website of the Day" at Right Wing News today. This is my first such award since being selected "Site of the Day" back in August by Jack Cluth of all people. (Jack and I rarely see at eye level, but we respect each other)

Too many more of these, and I may be promoted to a Division 1-A blog and be eligible for the Top 15.

All praise is greatly appreciated, and is sometimes used to deflect criticism and hate mail. I had wanted to create a real awards page, to take the place of this one, but it'd look too naked with only two awards. Perhaps when I get a third one, (hint hint) I'll create a little virtual wall of fame.

<end of shameless self-promotion>

Yeah, lets fine the homeless �500 for sleeping on the streets.

Our budget problems are solved!

Here is an article about Southern Pride that has been circulating throughout the blogosphere over the past week. (Thanks to Joanie for the link.) As someone who was born and raised in Virginia, before moving to Georgia, and then Ohio I must say that I have never been ashamed of my southern roots. Even though I was raised by Yanks, my parents always taught me to be proud of who I was, and where I was from.

As the article points out, racism is everywhere, but only the South seems to get a bad rap for it. In my personal experiences, I have seen much more racism and bigotry in the North than the South, but it is hardly a representative sample.

The point is, that you cannot paint people as bigots simply because they show pride in their heritage. Nevertheless, there are movements to expunge Confederate history, remove memorials, and basically rewrite history. This is in spite of the fact that the Civil War was largely about states' rights and saving the union. It wasn't until late in the war that Lincoln recognized that making an issue of slavery would be useful.

But hey, we can't let historical fact stand in the way of the political correctness movement.

The esteemed Dr. Williams looks at the real world impact of environmentalist policies. For instance, because of the enviro-activist ban on DDT, millions of people, many of them African children, needlessly die each year of malaria. Recently, hundreds have died in the US of West Nile Virus, and still activists oppose any sort of insecticide spraying.

Williams quotes environmental activist Lynn Landes as saying, "West Nile may be a nasty experience for a very few, fatal for an exceedingly rare number, but as diseases go it's no big deal." Meanwhile, according to statistics from the Centers for Disease Control, 2,530 Americans have been infected with West Nile and 125 died, but to environmentalists that's "no big deal."

I made the third edition of Carnival of the Vanities.

Many thanks to Big Wig and BlogCritics for feeding my ego when it needed it.

The Carnival is also mirrored here.

Barbra Streisand, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Danny Glover, Martin Sheen, Jessica Lange, Ed Asner, Joanne Woodward, and of course, 'Hanoi Jane' Fonda top the list of celebrities trying to use the 'bully pulpit' to voice their liberal bed-wetting appeasement agenda.

Babs started off by sending a letter to Dick 'Gebhardt' that looked like it was written by a third grader. She continued by hosting an elite Democratic fund raiser in which she blasted the Bush administration in song. As if that wasn't enough, she went on to embarrass herself by crediting Shakespeare for a quote that most people immediately recognized as an internet hoax. On her website she even proudly proclaims that she "find(s) the shrinking ozone layer and the melting icecaps frightening". Oh, how does she sleep at night?

Meanwhile, Jessica Lange, of 'Tootsie' and 'King Kong' fame, said she "hates" Bush and described his call for an attack on Iraq as "unconstitutional, immoral and illegal." Susan Sarandon, who keeps her Oscar in the bathroom, recently told reporters at an Edinburgh festival that she doesn't "think that a military expansion of violence is the solution." Mr. Sarandon (aka Tim Robbins) would not go on record, but simply nodded in unconscious agreement.

The London Telegraph reports that Liam Neeson, who once lived with Julia Roberts, "accused the President of behaving like a spoilt child," and John Travolta "admitted that he did not know what to think." I guess L. Ron Hubbard doesn't have an answer for this one, now does he Barbarino?

Of course there are old favorites like Alec Baldwin threatening to leave the country if Bush ever got elected. Despite several offers for free passage, he's yet to leave. And who can forget what Julia 'Mr. Ed' Roberts (who didn't even thank the real Erin Brockovich for her Oscar) said about George W. Bush: "The man's embarrassing. He's not my president and he never will be either." She also chimed in on the indiscretion of the Bush daughters: "We all need to take a deep breath and think about being a Bush daughter and having that cross to bear. I'd go out and have a couple of drinks, too."

Back on the singer/diva front, Cher once asked, "If you're black in this country, if you're a woman in this country, if you are any minority in this country at all, what could possibly possess you to vote Republican?" Gee Cher, perhaps some individuals actually have the capacity for rational thought.

Sarah Jessica Parker, who gets about $150,000 per episode of 'Sex and the City', and is married to Mathew Broderick once whined that her family would be on welfare if the Bush tax cuts went through. "I'm very, very concerned about the Bush presidency. I'm worried about the kinds of cuts in domestic programs that mean something to a lot of people, including members of my family, who depend on certain things from the government," whined Parker. Michelle Malkin asks "Why are Parker's family members depending on the government for anything? Sell off some of your Italian leather goods, skip the Oscars this year, and take Grandma and Grandpa out to Spago before their Spam runs out."

All is not lost, however. Some Hollywood celebrities are tired of being lumped in with the limousine liberals, and are starting to come out of their shell. We aren't exactly back to the conservative days of John Wayne, or the days of Jimmy Stewart and Clark Gable flying bombing missions during World War II, but it's a start.

Harrison Ford recently declared support for President Bush's right to defend America. Tom Cruise was quoted as saying, "but I believe that Saddam has committed many crimes against humanity and against his own people," while Steven Spielberg noted that "If Bush, as I believe, has reliable information on the fact that Saddam Hussein is making weapons of mass destruction, I cannot not support the policies of his government." Spielberg, however, must have had reservations later on, because he back-tracked a bit and declared, "It was never my intention to give an endorsement of any kind."

Perhaps the greatest support came from R. Lee Ermy, best known for his portrayal of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket. He pointed out that liberal celebrities don't speak for everyone, and said that "Barbra Streisand has opened her alligator-sized mouth wide before her humming-bird brain has had a chance to catch up."

My overall thoughts are that celebrities need to know when to keep their fucking mouths shut. Many celebrities never even finished high school, and their greatest achievement is looking pretty, or learning to read a cue card. Sure, you may have a good set of lungs, but your fame and fortune don't lend credence to the garbage you spew. In fact, I think just the opposite. Your incoherent ramblings and off-stage antics actually detract from any acting/singing/looking-pretty ability that you may possess.

Now shut the hell up and dance for me, you trained monkey.

Da Goddess was a day late and a dollar short with her reply to my Oktoberfest Offer. While I had the funds to go to Oktoberfest again this year, I couldn't find anyone who was free to go with me. Sigh. (Note, although she didn't send the requisite nudie picture, I expect she'll send it along shortly.)

I realize, entirely, that this is late.....but it was too much fun to pass up.

1 - Must be willing to fly steerage or luggage class. You may be asked to ride in a suitcase, packing crate, animal holding pen, or asked to hold your breath for up to 9 hours. I went on vacation with Acidman........you think I haven't done this stuff already?

2 - Must be willing to share a bed, and sleep in the wet spot. With me, there is NO dry spot.

3 - Meals will be served at least once per day, and may have little sustenance or nutritional value. Sounds like home. Can I have some more beer? Did I tell you beer makes me ........uh......amorous?

4 - Drinks will be very alcoholic and very plentiful. Oh......there it is. Thanks

5 - Sexual favors typically last from 2 to 27 minutes, and may involve animals, midgets, or leather bindings. Did you miss Acidman's posting on what I'm willing to do? You forgot the camera crew and the black chick in the tu-tu. Yeah.....I'll do girls. As long as they do me back.

35, huh? Too bad I'm too old. I missed this by.....5 months.

I know. The only poll that counts is the last one, but here are some BCS Projections anyway:

The Anderson & Hester ratings had a long holdout this week, finally posting on Tuesday afternoon, and their new numbers caused a change at the top of the projected BCS Rankings. Virginia Tech jumped Miami into the No. 1 overall spot, and Ohio State climbed over Georgia to reach No. 3.

1. Virginia Tech
2. Miami
3. Ohio State
4. Georgia
5. Notre Dame
6. Oklahoma
7. Florida State
8. Oregon
9. Texas
10. NC State

Miami's fall from the top spot can can be attributed to ratings of sixth or worse in five of the BCS computers. But don't fret, Miami fans. A win over FSU should push you right back to the top spot.

According to author Yossef Bodansky, Yasser Arafat hatched a plot to blow up Secretary Powell's entire convoy in April 2002. Powell was in Israel trying to negotiate peace between the Palestinians and Israelis. Thanks to some keen Israeli detective work, the plot was foiled.

Arafat won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1994.

Kim hits this nail on the head. Apparently the gun grabbing Maryland Governor has been reduced to begging the sniper for mercy by asking him to turn himself in.

Meanwhile I heard some dipshit on the radio saying the sniper must be ex-military because he was hitting targets from 200 yards away. Nevermind that a good hunter with a high powered rifle could make that shot from 300 to 500 yards.

You know, I love my mom, but when it came to groceries, she was kind of funny about certain things. For instance, she would only buy groceries after payday. If we ran out, tough, put it on the list. I told her once that I was glad we didn't have to buy air. Heaven forbid we should run out in the middle of the week and die because it wasn't payday yet.

Here is a list of the foods I never got as a kid, because my mom didn't like them:

-- Jello - The first time I had jello was in college, and it was a jello shot. I had no idea jello was for kids. One day I actually called the jello help line to complain that their instructions didn't say how much vodka to add to the mix.
-- Marshmallows - The only time I got marshmallows was at scout camp. Thanks to my mother, I still don't really like them.
-- Bananas - No bananas, no banana splits. My mom hated bananas and only recently started buying them after my father threatened to divorce her.
-- Gum - Gum was forbidden. Sugared gum rot your teeth, while sugar-free gum caused cancer. To this day, people still look at me funny when they offer me gum and I refuse.
-- Eggs - My mom hates eggs and will not cook them to this very day. I only got eggs when my dad was home from sea to fix them for me.
-- Mints - Any mint, or mint candy was not allowed to enter the house. It still isn't.
-- Chocolate creme pie - Mom made a chocolate pie for desert once, and I accidentally dropped it on the floor. She never made it again, saying, "You threw the last one on the floor!"

Big Least no more. Over the past several years, the Big East has gained new found respect in NCAA football. Like it or not, the Big East was the most successful conference in the past two years of post season play, with an 8-2 record. This year, Miami and VT are ranked in the top 5, and Pitt is starting to gain new found respect. Boston College is no slouch either.

Pitt has really turned things around. They are 5-1 so far this season, winning 11 of their last 12 games, including wins over VT last year, and NC State in the Tangerine Bowl. They may crack the Top 25 pretty soon. They have some tough tests coming up, playing Notre Dame, VT, and Miami, all on the road. Personally, I'm going to go out on a limb and call for the upset win at Notre Dame this weekend. That's right, I said it. Pitt will beat Notre Dame this weekend. (Stop laughing!)

Meanwhile, my Hokies have to play BC on Thursday night, and Pitt is our homecoming game. Tech still doesn't have a kicker, with Carter Worley out with a sore back. The last game we had to use our kicker-offer dude and he didn't do so well. Lets hope VT will score lots of TDs and then go for two. As an Old Hokie Fan (pre-1993) I remember when we always went for two because our kicker was so bad. Actually, our whole team was bad back then, finishing just 2-8-1 in 1992. Oh boy, was that a horrible season.

Right Wing News has done a Best of the Blogosphere, ranking the 'Top 15' blogs. I presume they only used Division 1-A blogs, as ranking ALL blogs would be an impossible task.

Ravenwood's Universe may some day be large enough to be a Division 1-A blog, but not today. Until then, we are content watching 'the big show' from the stands.

Nevertheless, our staff writers will continue to blog with their heads held high. We know who's number one in our book, and that is what counts. ;)

I have signed on to support National Ammo Day by placing a banner ad on the bottom of my page.

The staff writers at Ravenwood's Universe have always proudly supported Second Amendment rights, and always will. May those that wish to take away our rights have a pox put on them.

Sailors Used Gov't Credit Cards to Hire Prostitutes

Hey, only congressmen can do that! And what kind of hooker takes credit cards?!

I love any speech that Bush uses the word 'nucular'. I know he does it just to piss off the left.

I also loved this reference:

"Neither the United States of America nor the world community of nations can tolerate deliberate deception and offensive threats on the part of any nation, large or small. We no longer live in a world where only the actual firing of weapons represents a sufficient challenge to a nation's security to constitute maximum peril." -- John F. Kennedy in the midst of the Cuban Missle Crisis.

Political correctness has killed the childhood past-time of 'Show and Tell'. Teachers are scaling back 'Show and Tell' so as not to hurt children's feelings, and encourage competition.

They fear that children's self-esteem will be irreparably damaged if kids bring in too nice of toys. Apparently children simply cannot cope with someone having something they don't. This brings us a step closer to not keeping score at school football games.

What is more disturbing, that this drunk driver was also BLIND, or that the court only suspended her from driving for 30 months.

Hello.. she's blind. Will she still be blind in 30 months?

I can think of much worse ways to be murdered. Imagine being cut up by a chainsaw. How about being set on fire and burned alive, or having some nut attack you with a nail gun? Bioweapons can lead to a nasty painful death too. And those are just the ways they can kill you in Quake.

Here is a list of worse ways to die than being shot:

-- Hit on the head with a turkey dropped from a helicopter (WKRP in Cincinnati)
-- Scalded in an overheated hot tub (Halloween II)
-- Bludgeoned to death with a leg of lamb (Lamb to the Slaughter)
-- Drowned in an automobile (Teddy Kennedy)
-- Impaled with a long spear (Vlad the Impaler)
-- Buried in cement in the end zone of Giant's Stadium (Jimmy Hoffa)
-- Being pushed out a window (All in the Family)
-- Hacked to death by an axe (Lizzie Borden)

The Supreme Court is washing their hands of the NJ ballot switch case. It comes as no big surprise, as the Court was blasted for interfering with the 2000 Presidential election.

There are plenty of reasons on both sides why the Supreme Court should step in and why they shouldn't. Lets hope that the voters will see the Dems for their true power grabbing selves, and teach them a lesson at the ballot box.

What will happen to the military and absentee ballots remains to be seen. How will votes that have already been submitted be counted? Will new absentee ballots be sent out and received in time? Do democrats even care?

The skinny on the wire is that the major networks are not going to air President Bush's speech tonight.

Does anyone know if they ever did this to Clinton? I remember several mind-numbing Clinton speeches I could have done without. Now the networks tell us that the speech on Iraq tonight is not important, but their regular prime-time lineup is.

Well, at least it's nice to know they aren't biased or anything.

"It's disgusting. They chain-smoke at their desk! The first thing I smell when I get to the office is smoke." -- a worker at Phillip Morris, where smoking at work is allowed, and cigarettes are provided by PM.

I had the same reaction when I was contracted to Coca-Cola. The employees there were sucking down the free sugar water like it was life giving nectar. The nerve of those people. The carbon dioxide in the air was stifling.

Don't worry, when Bloomberg's ban on smoking goes through, Phillip Morris employees will have to take to the streets to light up.

I have decorated for Halloween.

Yes, that is the best I can do. I am a creative nincompoop.

"Once again, Barbra Streisand has opened her alligator-sized mouth wide before her humming-bird brain has had a chance to catch up. Of course, she has the right to her opinion, but what she does is use the 'bully pulpit', helped by her fame, and people think she's talking for Hollywood." -- R. Lee Ermy, best known for his portrayal of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman in Full Metal Jacket.

Now sound off like you've got a pair!

"It was because of the free labor of blacks. It was because of all of the suffering we took and we did that made America so powerful." -- Chicago Alderman Dorothy Tillman

Chicago is requiring companies that wish to do business with them to fork over information that relates to slavery that hasn't existed for almost 140 years. Naturally, any company that fesses to having participated in the legal activity will immediately be hit with an ex-post facto multi-*illion dollar class action lawsuit.

Lucky for me, I've already been given amnesty for the alleged actions of my ancestors**.

* probably a B, but perhaps even a T
** actually most of my ancestors came over after slavery was made illegal. Those that were here didn't live in slave states, and were too poor to afford them anyway.

Exerpt from Fox News

Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., put out a statement saying the Garden State decision should be based on what is fair to the state's voters. Noting that thousands of people overseas have already received ballots bearing Torricelli's name and have cast their votes, he said "no voter, whether he or she voted by military ballot, absentee ballot, or in person on Election Day should be disenfranchised by a late change in the law or a change in procedure."

Saying that he supports reforms to make ballot access easier for candidates and voters and to promote voter participation, "if the laws that govern elections are unfair or inadequate, they should be changes," he said.

"But if candidates or parties violate those laws simply to improve their own election prospects, they are not working on behalf of voters, and should be held accountable."

The same Fox News story also points out that many overseas voters have already cast their ballot in the New Jersey election. It also notes that the state of New Jersey has halted the further distribution of absentee ballots. Once again, the Democrats fuck over the military, and hardly anyone cares.

Support Kim DuToit and National Ammo Day by purchasing 100 rounds of ammo on November 19.

Personally, I'll be purchasing more like 500.

My ammo count to date:
.40 S&W: 800+ rounds
.22 Win mag: 425 rounds
12 gauge shot shells: 50 rounds

I know Kim, I'm a little light on the 12 gauge.

Wasn't this from an episode of "All in the Family"?

Perhaps not, but it sounds to me like this guy needs to beat her more often.

The staff writers at Ravenwood's Universe are happy to report that drug abuse in this country is non-existent, drinking and driving has completely stopped, and there is no gun violence in Washington DC. Thanks to our tough laws outlawing these activities, we no longer have to worry about drugged out crack whores committing armed robbery to get money for their next fix. We also don't have to worry about driving home on an early Sunday morning at 2 AM, because everyone on the road undoubtedly has a designated driver. Residents of DC are free to sleep with their doors unlocked.

Wait a second. You say that these problems still exist? How can that be, with the tough laws we have to fight them? Well, it is quite simple actually. You see, merely making alcohol, drugs, or guns illegal, does not prevent people from abusing them. Nevertheless, proponents of stricter laws and 'feel good' legislation continue to insist that tougher laws are the solution to all of life's problems.

For instance, over the past several years drinking and driving laws across the nation have been toughened. The Imperial Federal government, along with special interests have pushed states to lower the minimum allowed BAC from .10 to .08, even though the majority of drunk driving accidents happen at .15 or above. There also is no real data to support that the lower BAC will actually save any lives. In fact, as the minimum BAC creeps lower and lower, it will be hard to distinguish if an accident was caused by alcohol or any of the other numerous factors that cause accidents. However, you can bet that organizations like MADD will continue to play politics with statistics, and count any accident they can find as one that was related to alcohol.

Similar ploys are used by special interests to further the anti-gun agenda. Gang-land murders committed by 19 year old thugs are counted as 'accidents' occurring between 'children'. Organizations like the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence Ownership treat a gang execution as though it was a child who found daddy's gun and accidentally shot his little sister. Look for special interests to use the recent Maryland shootings to try to further the campaign of their gun grabbing candidate in the Governor's election. This is despite the fact that a well armed and defended populace may have actually prevented such shootings.

The real losers in these situations are the American people. We live with less and less freedom, but suffer from the same old problems. The tougher laws help wacko special interests take advantage of unsuspecting dupes, to bring in the big special interest money. Meanwhile, special interest 'executives' live high on the hog off the donations of people that genuinely want to make the world a better place. Congressmen also benefit in that they can cater to the special interests to keep hold of the political power they crave so much.

In the end, people's dependence on the special interests and politicians to 'fix' their problems is increased. Perhaps I am too much of a skeptic at times, however when an organization like MADD or the Brady Campaign comes begging for money, I have to ask myself where their loyalty really lies. After all, they are co-dependent on the very 'problem' they are trying to 'fix', and can only thrive when more and more people jump on board to try to support their cause.

Nebraska is unranked for the first time since October 1981, after last weeks loss to Iowa State. Fox Sports Net had this tidbit of trivia:

That last time Nebraska was unranked...

President of the US: Ronald Reagan
Top TV Shows: "Dallas" and "Joanie Loves Chachi"
Top Rock Male Vocal: Rick Springfield for "Jessie's Girl"
Dow Jones Average: 1024
First Class Stamp: $0.20
Debut of Ms. Pac Man and Donkey Kong

Yet another 'What _____ are you' quiz. This time, I am the Swedish Chef of muppets. This comes as a surprise, as with my love of chickens, I always had myself pegged for Gonzo.

Yuoo ere-a zee Svedeesh Cheff!
Yuoo ere-a a guud cuuk, thuoogh yuoo cun't speek Ingleesh fery vell. Bork Bork Bork!

Thanks to HokiePundit for the link.

Democrats show that once again they are sore losers, and are suing to invalidate the 2002 Georgia Democratic Primary in which Cynthia McKinney was defeated. The voter lawsuit contends that McKinney was defeated largely due to Republican crossover voting, which 'disenfranchised' the Democratic voters.

The major problem with the lawsuit is that Georgia doesn't have party registration. That means that there is no such thing as a Democratic or Republican voter. Under Georgia law, all voters are the same, and instead must choose which ballot they want when they walk in the door.

Ironically, the suit wants to deny voters the right to choose the ballot on which they want to vote, which is truly disenfrachisement.

An LA jury gave a smoker with lung cancer an award of a gazillion dollars. Informed that there was no such thing as a 'gazillion', the jury settled on $28 Billion. (Billion with a B)

The interesting thing is that the award was broken down into $750,000 in damages, $100,000 for pain and suffering, and $28 Billion in 'punitive' damages. While the absurd award will most certainly be overturned on appeal, the awarding of punitive damages in the neighborhood of 33,000 times the regular award illustrates just how smoker-unfriendly the People's Republic of California really is.

I obviously never have to worry about being placed on such a jury. Call me unsypathetic, call me an asshole, but the fact remains that the plaintiff knew about the dangers of smoking. No way in hell would I award her a dime. A kick in the pants and an 'I told you so' are long past due from her doctors and children, all of whom pleaded with her to quit. Her claim that she was mislead into believe smoking was perfectly harmless is total bullshit and everyone knows it.

Five people were randomly murdered in Maryland. I cannot help but think that if Maryland allowed citizens to carry firearm's for protection, some of the killings could have been avoided.

While Maryland has a concealed carry law, implementation of that law makes it virtually impossible to get a permit. Packing.org points out that anyone in Maryland hoping to get a carry permit should read this FAQ for proper discouragement. If you still aren't discouraged, take a look at Maryland's Article 27, Section 36E.

In fact, the Maryland constitution mentions nothing about any right to bear arms. A LexisNexis search was equally disappointing. However, for Maryland's attitude on guns, check out these articles under 'Declaration of Rights'.
Art. 28: That a well regulated militia is the proper and natural defence of a free Government.
Art. 29: That standing Armies are dangerous to liberty, and ought not to be raised, or kept up, without the consent of the Legislature.

Site traffic increased again in September. Here are some raw numbers: 3599 visitors (2067 in August), 21557 page views (11302 in August), 48215 hits (21263 in August), and 386.7 MB (184.2 in August).

These numbers were slightly skewed from the transition to Movable Type on 9/13. The visitors number should be the most accurate, but the page views and hits numbers were inflated by about 2000 and 5000 respectively due to the installation and testing of the software. Also, since Movable Type runs on the server, it slightly increases the page views and hits as compared to Blogger. The visitors number shouldn't be affected by the change all that much, however.

I certainly hope that no one thought it was me that was shooting up the UN today. While I was in the neighborhood, and I do own a decent gun collection, and I do detest the UN, I don't condone such behavior.

I understand it, but I don't condone it.

There is a lot of discussion about Johnie Cochran's proposal to 'reward' NFL teams with extra draft picks for hiring black coaches, whom Cochran says are better coaches any way.

However, most analysis of the situation seems to miss the obvious advantages that any coach would have with an extra draft pick. The extra pick given to black coaches would give those teams a distinct advantage. This may be enough to make the coach appear better than he is, thus fulfilling Cochran's prophecy.

The record industry has settled a price fixing suit with the states to the tune of $143 million. The industry that continues to blame their customers for internet piracy on the drop in album sales admits no wrong doing, but agrees to pony up for the questionable practice of minimum pricing agreements that kept CD prices inflated throughout the mid to late 1990s.

At the time the suit was filed, it was estimated that customers had been overcharged $480 million. Universal balked at the assertion and stated that "We believe our policies were pro-competitive and geared toward keeping more retailers, large and small, in business."

While price fixing will obviously keep retailers in business, I don't see how they can call it pro-competitive.

Environmentalist wackos are going around 'ticketing' SUVs to send a message to drivers as to just how much they waste the earth's resources. The mock tickets resemble real parking tickets, and read SUV drivers the riot act for their social irresponsibility.

I wonder just who is reading the enviro-wackos the riot act for all the paper they waste. What about the litter from the tickets that blow off windows, or get tossed on the ground as a direct result of the pleasure police ticketing campaign. Of course, if I catch them messing with my SUV, I may just read them the riot act personally. Those little twits aren't going to tell me what I can or cannot drive.

They whine about SUV drivers putting others on the road at risk, because of the sheer size of the vehicle. With all the trucks, buses, and vans on the road, just why are SUVs the ones being targeted? Mostly it all boils down to class envy and an attack on capitalism. If these nuts had their way we'd all be driving Yugos. Of course, there'd be a lot more of them on the road, because they only seat 3 and a half people, but that's ok with them.

My SUV is a lot like my gun. If they want me to give it up, they're gonna have to kill me for it. Of course, I'll probably just drive over their little-narrow-yugo-drivin' ass.

Fox News reports that Tom Daschle thinks that Republicans are "denying the people of New Jersey a choice" in the election by fighting the candidate switch in the Senate race.

Sorry Tom, but it is the Democrats who are denying the people of New Jersey a choice. Torricelli ran un-opposed in the primary, and the Democrats chose him as their candidate. Now they are having 'buyers remorse' and want to switch candidates at the last minute, in violation of election law. I don't see where Republicans really even fit into the picture, other than on the side of equal protection under the law.

It has become clear that Tom Daschle is the biggest political obstructionist and scheister this country has seen in modern times.

In case you missed it, I'm reporting from New York City this week, so posts will be sparse.

James McGreevy, the New Jersey Democratic Governor said on Fox News this morning that he thinks that since the Republicans control the House of Representatives and the White House, that it is important to have balance and have a Democrat controlled Senate.

I wonder if he'd feel that way if the shoe was on the other foot.

While Democrats are desperately trying to spin their attempt to rig the New Jersey Senate race, it becomes plainly obvious that they will stop at nothing to gain political power. The fact that they are looking for a 'friendly' judge to allow them to circumvent election laws illustrates perfectly how they view laws and ethics as 'obstacles' in their quest for political power.

Democrats will continue raving about the importance of the democratic process, and how the people deserve to have two candidates on the NJ ballot. Look for them to not only try to replace Torricelli on the ballot, but to transfer all his campaign money over to any new candidate they can drum up.

Today is the first day in the new fiscal year for the United States government, and we still don't have a budget. But hey, there's no gridlock in the Senate now is there?