Oh my God! Tom Cruise just killed Oprah!

I hate to sound anti-corporate, but this shit really pisses me off.

Atlanta's permanent bowl game is in its last year being known as the Peach Bowl. Next year the game will be called the Chick-fil-A Bowl, following a new $22 million deal with the fast-food chain.

Not by me it won't. I'm a football purist, and I try my darndest not to ignore corporate sponsorships. I still refer to Fedex Field as Jack Kent Cooke Stadium (and I'll kick Daniel Snyder in the nuts if I see him on the street). In my book, the Orange Bowl will always be the Orange Bowl, and the Peach Bowl will always be the Peach Bowl. Sponsorships are usually mutated into something non-flattering like the Weedwhacker Bowl for Poulan-Weedeater Independence Bowl. The Chicken Bowl should be easy enough to disparage.

And no amount of corporate sponsorship has ever made me run out and buy their products.

As if you had to justify your right to carry a firearm for self defense, CNN reports:

A group of as many as 15 youths punched, kicked and jumped on McClain after he honked for them to move out of the street, witnesses said.

And yes, I do think that shooting a 14 to 16 year old "child" is justified under these circumstances. And you probably don't have to shoot too many of them before they think twice about thug violence.

Robert Morris...-The Executioner-...You are loyal and brave (to a fault) but you are also a psychotic killing-machine. Seek professional help NOW! ;-)

Which Red Dawn Character Are You?

And my high school guidance counselor said I'd never amount to anything...

(Via Countertop)

As if you needed another reason to pull your kid out of government schools, Phyllis Schlafly notes:

Two appellate courts held that parents have no right to stop offensive, privacy-invading interrogation of their own children in public schools. In a third case, the U.S. Supreme Court indicated that it is not going to do anything to protect parental rights concerning schools.

Two words: vouchers.

I hope you're having a great Christmas vacation. Posting should return to normal soon. In the mean time, check out the Carnival if you haven't already.

It's that time of year again. The holidays are upon us, and the internet will soon slow to a crawl as bloggers of all faiths spend more time with their families, take vacations, or just sit back and relax.

But in this dearth of posts, the Carnival lives on. Through rain, snow, sleet, or postal strikes the Carnival arrives just in time for Christmas.

With that said it brings me great pleasure to offer you, the 170th Edition of the Carnival of the Vanities:

Our finest gifts we bring

Countertop has been celebrating Advent, one day at a time.

Holiday shopping got you down? Mensa barbie has a little guide and some lovely sites to take the confusion out of Holiday shopping.

Reb Chaim HaQoton teaches a Holiday History Lesson.

They're discussing the red socks over at Random Yak. Not the baseball team, the rare annual appearance of coverinus tubulus Adventus.

Joe Goodwin at Play One on TV gives us an Ode to a Christmas Gag Gift

Is all that time with the family and in-laws getting on your nerves yet? Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face suggests his Guide To Dealing With Your Family During Christmas: Part I.

Twas the night before Christmas

How many of you remember what a treat it was to go to the movies when you were a kid? Well, Sour Duck fondly remembers Saturday afternoon matinees, especially the great Abbott and Costello.

To a novice the internet can be a complex and confusing place, so Barry Welford at The Other Bloke's Blog gives us a holiday fable: Alice In InternetLand.

I'm shocked, I say, shocked that some hippie activists would raid a church and steal the baby Jesus (no, not Sean Hannity, the real baby Jesus). Peace Moonbeam has the unbelievable story.

Madeleine Begun Kane at Mad Kane's Notables gives us her latest song parody of Bill O'Reilly's Faux War On Christmas. It's complete with a podcast version, for those of you with pods.

Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world; unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves. Kevin Baker over at The Smallest Minority writes another uber-long essay that's completely inappropriate for the holiday season.

What better gift than free music? Elisa Camahort at The Browster Blog compares Google Music Search to Yahoo and itunes.

If you thought moving to a new town was tough, try a new continent. Bussorah at Wicked Thoughts tells the humourous tale of an Englishman who couldn't take the heat.

David N. Scott at Pererro reflects on the Piano Man.

The weeping, the shouting, the bitter angry drunkenness. Those are just a few of the symptoms of S.A.D. (Statistical Affective Disorder), the December doldrums that Mark A. Rayner says hit most bloggers right on the stats page.

Canadia has a crime problem, mostly because they refuse to fight crime. Zendo Deb over at TFS Magnum offers some suggestions.

David Ng over at Terry, wonder what would glaciers have to say about Global Warming.

Visions of sugar-plums

Kipper at Cardinal Martini says that as bloggers get bigger and more famous, they start imitating old media.

Charlie Quidnunc updates us on what happened last week: A Rough Friday; Pelosi: Democrat Disunity is Good; and the WTO in Hong Kong.

Silly DL. Over at TMH's Bacon Bits, they still believe in journalistic ideals such as serving the common good instead of being a mouthpiece for Democrats.

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Conservatives are ecstatic about the Iraq election today. Liberals are mum. Ah, the sounds of silence, but until Iraqis control their own borders, they are not a nation. Don Surber at Don Surber says Don't Oversell The Iraq Election.

Dan Melson at Searchlight Crusade says that that we are fighting more than just terrorism. We are fighting to preserve preserve western civilization.

Adam at Sophistpundit is busy clubbing the modern protest to death with its own lack of internal logic.

Over at Bookmoth, Moth notes that firing rates for U.S. troops have risen sharply since World War II, and that the anti-war activists are using statistics to portray soldiers as unnecessarily vicious.

Over at the Chronicles of a Medical Mad House, the Internal Medicine Doctor is worried that there are too many ways to die.

Despite all the bad press they've been getting, Matt Johnston at Going to the Mat notices that Shoppers Still Flock to Wal-Mart.

Who is Herald Angel?

The Iraqi elections are a big success. Jack Cluth at The People's Republic of Seabrook wonders who would have thought that an election might just be far more fair in Iraq than here in Texas?

When it comes to settling the desert, Jews have had some success at farming whereas Arabs have failed. Batya Medad thinks it may be a return of The Curse!

Sophistpundit Adam Gurri is covering the 2005 Iraqi Elections.

We haven't heard much about the "star wars" missile defense system lately. Perhaps that's because it's going so well, writes Blue at DSS Hubris.

When proffering about social policy, Brian J. Noggle catches the big government types being a little too candid about how they view their subjects. (meaning you and me)

Everyone born here is automatically a citizen, and some people want that to change. Conor Friedersdorf at Beyond Borders Blog is left Defending Birthright Citizenship.

Some MEPs in Brussels don't understand what the word leader means. Andrew Ian Dodge at Liberty Cadre thinks some pols have a conflict of interest between the EU and allegiance to their own country.

The same people who are crying about the PATRIOT Act and civil liberties are the ones trying to sweep the Second Amendment under the rug. Countertop wants to know Who Ya Gonna Call When The Gestapo's At The Door??

Doug Payton at Considerettes tackles the NSA wiretapping story. While the knee-jerk reactions from both sides don't shed any light, a close look at the NY Times shows a President sensitive to all the legalities.

Has the balance between defense and civil liberties has been tipped too far? As a pro-defense libertarian, Brad Warbiany at The Unrepentant Individual asks the tough questions.

There is a lot of hand wringing over domestic surveillance. But Different River is one of the few who are asking, What does the Constitution say?

Kevin W at The Liberal Wrong Wing has the run down on George Bush's Oval Office speech.

Josh Cohen at Multiple Mentality goes where he probably shouldn't go. The Presidential Sex Life. (And it doesn't conjure up images of Jack Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe.)

What's existentialism you ask? John Ray is glad you asked, because he found real life existentialism going on in Africa.

Mele Kalikimaka

It's never too late to start thinking about socking money away. JLP scores an interview with author Lee Eisenberg about his upcoming book "The Number."

So, just what does the Bible says about how we should handle our money? Over at Free Money Finance, they put money in The Proper Perspective.

David Porter wants to talk about ARMs. No, not guns, the other ones.

TT at Retire at 30 talks to us about how to invest our money.

Wayne Hurlbert says that it's a tough world out there, and only the dynamic will survive.

If you missed this Carnival, Adam Graham from Adam's Blog reminds us about the Carnival of Christmas that comes but once per year.

Well, that's all folks. I pinged as many trackbacks as the system would allow. (You guys with haloscan/typepad may be outta luck) If any of the entries went to Internet Valhalla, please email me ASAP. I'm flying out of town today but may be able to take a look at it tonight.

Starting next year, the Carnival of the Vanities will be under new management. I'm not sure if there was a hostile takeover or if the sale was amicable, but as a result this may be the last Christmas Carnival that I'm allowed to host. For me it started back in 2002 on Christmas Day with Carnival #14. It's been a good run, and special thanks to Big Wig for kicking this whole thing off.

The 171st and final edition of Big Wig's Carnival of the Vanities will be hosted by Chicken Soup for the Damned.

Last week the House voted on a bill "Expressing the commitment of the House of Representatives to achieving victory in Iraq". You'd think that every politician sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States would support a U.S. victory, right?

Well, 109 Democrats voted "NO", and another 32 (along with 2 Republicans) were spineless and voted "Present".

They will not even go on record as saying they support victory for the United States.

The Christmas Edition of Carnival of the Vanities will once again be hosted here. The Carnival will take place on December 21st, so go ahead and start submitting your entries now.

Keep in mind that Ravenwood's Christmas Vacation also starts December 21st. Therefore it is VERY important that you submit your entries by December 20th, 5PM EST. (Due to holiday travel, it will be extremely difficult to accommodate late entries.)

Submit your Carnival Entry here, or preferably here, or just email carnival -at- ravnwood -dot- com. Please include your name, blog name, link, a brief summary, and any trackback links.

UPDATE: Still waiting for entries. So far the number of respondents is pitiful.

UPDATE: Wow. That got some attention. There have been dozens upon dozens of entries so far. So many that I'm too busy preparing for the carnival to post anything of substance. I'm also leaving town this week so other than the Carnival, don't look for much here until late next week.

Democrat Minority Leader, Nancy Pelosi, says that the Democrat's strength is in their lack of unity and message. They don't have a plan and they're proud, dammit.

"There is no one Democratic voice . . . and there is no one Democratic position," Pelosi said in an interview with Washington Post reporters and editors...

If Democrats are able to win the majority next year, Pelosi pledged aggressive oversight of the administration on issues including the war, intelligence and how the government responded to Hurricane Katrina.

Pelosi said Democrats scored significant victories recently, the biggest coming on Social Security, on which she said Democratic opposition to Bush's proposed private or personal accounts blocked any hopes the White House had for changing the government retirement insurance program this year.

Pelosi thinks that the Democrats were going to ride into the House Majority on a wave of good ethics and credibility. Well, not having a plan worked for Kerry. Oh wait...

James Taranto reports that Morgan Freeman is a man.

Every now and then, a celebrity says something intelligent. Here's a report from the Associated Press:

Morgan Freeman says the concept of a month dedicated to black history is "ridiculous."

"You're going to relegate my history to a month?" the 68-year-old actor says in an interview on CBS' "60 Minutes" to air Sunday. . . . "I don't want a black history month. Black history is American history." . . .

Freeman notes there is no "white history month," and says the only way to get rid of racism is to "stop talking about it."

The actor says he believes the labels "black" and "white" are an obstacle to beating racism.

"I am going to stop calling you a white man and I'm going to ask you to stop calling me a black man," Freeman says.

Morgan Freeman is a man.

Yay! Fish or Man won his appeal.

Meanwhile elections have been indefinitely suspended in New Orleans.

I caught a Jack Daniels commercial tonight. The background music was Jane Says by Jane's Addiction. Love the song, hate the booze.

As someone who's listened to Jane's Addiction since their title album came out, I'm surprised to see them hit commercial TV.

"We've got nation building by the U.S. military, and that's not a mission for the U.S. military. I've said this over and over again: They're not good at nation building. You've given them a mission which they cannot carry out. They do the best they can, but they can't do it." -- Rep. John Murtha, Democrat (surprise!) from Pennsylvania, once again trashing the troops.

Senator John McCain, a Republican (surprise!) from Arizona, pushed through an al-Qaeda Bill of Rights, which protects terrorists from "cruel, inhuman and degrading treatment" at the hands of the U.S. military.

"We've sent a message to the world that the United States is not like the terrorists. We have no grief for them, but what we are is a nation that upholds values and standards of behavior and treatment of all people, no matter how evil or bad they are," McCain said. "I think that this will help us enormously in winning the war for the hearts and minds of people throughout the world in the war on terror."

No longer will terrorists be subjected to such horrors as:

- Being interviewed by a woman
- Having dogs in the same room
- Having to look at the bottom of someone's shoe
- Being forced to listen to Whitney Houston (I actually agree with that one)
- Uncomfortable silence or staring
- Rapid fire questions
- Sleep deprivation

That is just a sample of the numerous "torture" techniques that were approved by the U.S. Army, according to this declassified memo provided by the ACLU (al-Qaeda Civil Liberties Union).

Merriam-Webster defines torture:

1 a : anguish of body or mind : AGONY b : something that causes agony or pain
2 : the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure

None of the items on the list are what a reasonable person would consider "torture".

Those that push for socialized medicine (a/k/a Hillarycare) usually talk about health care as a basic civil right. But in England where government controlled health care is a reality, people are being turned away because of their bad habits.

People who are grossly overweight, who smoke heavily or drink excessively could be denied surgery or drugs following a decision by a Government agency yesterday.

The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (Nice) which advises on the clinical and cost effectiveness of treatments for the NHS, said that in some cases the "self-inflicted" nature of an illness should be taken into account.

So after making people dependent on the government, the next step is to tell them how to live their lives. I wonder if they consider AIDS to be self-inflicted and would deny treatment to those with promiscuous sexual behavior? Or for another matter, pregnancy. I'm not just talking about abortions, but natal care (that's 'child birf' to those of you who went to public skool). For the most part pregnancy is preventable, and perhaps taxpayers shouldn't have to foot the bill for people who can't keep their legs together.

Molon labe bitch:

Miller: I gotta back up to something you just said, though. Are you saying that anyone...who possesses a gun in Boston should be...should be locked up?

Feeney: Yes. I am.

That's Boston City Councilor Maureen Feeney speaking with WRKO talk show host, Scott Allen Miller.

The WHO and CDC have thus far been unable to prove that secondhand smoke causes cancer. But that hasn't stopped the neo-temperance movement. I've said for years that smoke bans were coming for cars and other private property for the children. New Jersey is stepping up to the plate.

Assembly bill 4306 would allow police to issue an extra $250 ticket to a smoking motorist who is pulled over for a primary offense such as speeding. The bill has the heavyweight support of the Assembly's majority leader, Loretta Weinberg (D-Bergen) and has been referred to the Assembly's Transportation Committee for consideration.

Driver distraction was also listed as a reason, but drivers would not be given points on their license.

Kevin Baker tagged me for the latest meme. So here goes:

Seven things to do before I die
- Get married
- Have children
- Buy a motorcycle
- Visit the tropics
- Build my compound
- Get a pilots license
- Finish my first book
(writing it, not reading it)

Seven things I cannot do
- Ski
- Drive 55
- Keep to a budget
- Blow dry my hair
- Go to strip clubs
- Wear contact lenses
- Lie with a straight face

Seven things that attract me to women
- Cooking, Cleaning... okay just kidding...

Seven things I say most often
- Thank you
- Move it, dumbass!
- What's up Slacker?
- I'd like another beer
- Great! (When asked how I'm doing)
- Two words: (then follow it up with one word)
- If it doesn't contain animals, midgets, or large black men, it's not really pr0n

Seven books (or series) that I love
- Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
- Discworld Series by Terry Pratchett
- To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
- Black Man with a Gun by Ken Blanchard
- Civil War Virginia by James I. Robertson
- The Lords of Dus Series by Lawrence Watt-Evans
- The World to Ethshar Series by Lawrence Watt-Evans

Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had time
- Red Dawn
- Pale Rider
- Pulp Fiction
- Office Space
- Band of Brothers
- Starship Troopers
- Full Metal Jacket

Seven people I want to join in, too.
- If you wanna do it, feel free. I'm not going to tag anyone.

Countertop thinks the .gov's priorities are out of whack. They're too busy to debate tax relief. Energy independence, who needs it? But preventing the sale of what's legal to give away, that's important.

The new federal law would grant state and local law enforcement agencies funds to investigate and prosecute the men -- brothel owners and pimps...

"You're out of luck," said Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.), summing up the bill's message to the customers.

"The johns use and abuse these young women," said Rep. Deborah Pryce (R-Ohio). "And pimps -- you can call them slaveholders, the masters out in the field."

Prostitution is as old as marriage itself, and getting rid of it is impossible. But that doesn't stop Congress from trying. Their solution: throw money at the problem. Taxpayer money. Your money.

In 2004, Congress passed a law allowing off-duty and retired cops to carry concealed firearms nation wide. But the City of Chicago doesn't think their retired cops are qualified to carry a gun.

...the city is worried about the liability of allowing retired cops to carry guns when they haven't gone through refresher training or undergone mental and physical fitness evaluations. The city also is concerned about the lack of a national database of retired officers authorized to carry guns.

According to Chicago, cops who have spent the better part of their life thanklessly serving the public aren't mentally and physically fit enough to carry a gun. And since it is up to the City of Chicago to certify their retirees, they will be unable to carry guns until Chicago chooses to let them.

The Fraternal Order of Police is furious. They pushed hard for national concealed carry for police officers. Apparently they don't appreciate Chicago treating their members like ordinary citizens. (Here's hoping it will make the FOP more reluctant to support gun bans in the future.)

Of course there is nothing Chicago can do to prevent out-of-town cops and retirees from carrying guns in Chicago, since they would have been certified by agencies outside of the city.

Fifty-eight year old Patricia Konie from New Orleans filed a federal lawsuit over excessive force used by police during Hurricane Katrina. She's suing for injuries she sustained at the hands of police officers, for violation of her civil rights in forcing her to evacuate against her will, and for the unlawful confiscation of a firearm.

Konie was greeting a reporter and photographer from a San Francisco TV station and a journalist from the London Times when police unexpectedly entered her home. When she refused to leave as ordered, they confiscated a firearm used for defense and according to Konie, "slammed" her to the ground, both displacing and fracturing her left shoulder.

After remaining in custody for several hours without charges being filed against her by authorities, she was flown alone to South Carolina where she remained for more than a month before returning to her native New Orleans.

Fourteen-year-old Canadian, Brendon Hardt, was suspended for trying to make a point about the futility of Canadia's proposed handgun ban.

"I said, 'I have a gun in my pocket right now, how would the government know about it?'," Brendon said. "I was trying to show how unsafe schools could be, and how anyone could just walk in with a gun, and no one would know."

The principal spent several hours questioning Brendon after a teacher overheard him and turned him in.

"He was saying he thought that I was a threat," Brendon said. "He said, even if he was 95 per cent sure (that I wasn�t), he still couldn�t take that chance."

They not only want to ban handguns, they want to ban talking about handguns.

You gotta love James Taranto:

From a Baltimore Sun article on Anthony Brown, who is running for Maryland's lieutenant governor on a ticket with Martin O'Malley:

He chose a partner who reflects some of the diversity of Maryland. Brown is the product of the marriage between a Cuban father raised in Jamaica and a Swiss mother.

"It does not hurt that he is an African-American," [Rep. Elijah] Cummings said. "African-Americans in the Democratic Party want to see somebody on that level representing them, coming from that community."

OK, here's a trivia question. Which of the following countries is in Africa?

a. Cuba
b. Jamaica
c. Switzerland

Actually, as far as we know, the answer is d. none of the above.

What a difference two months makes:

"There will be no gas tax hike in a Corzine administration, particularly after we've seen a $1.50 rise in the price of gasoline. I'm proposing we have a tax holiday."

That was New Jersey Democrat Jon Corzine, on the campaign trail for Governor back in October. This is today:

After vowing during his campaign that he would not raise the gas tax, Gov.-elect Jon Corzine said yesterday he will reconsider the idea now that gasoline prices have eased and the state's budget gap has ballooned to more than $5 billion.

He's not even Governor yet, and already he's thrown his campaign promise out the window. At least it took fuckface Mark "I will not raise taxes" Warner 3 years to break his campaign vow.

One of your wedding cakes has a big gun on it...

Hoping to prevent terrorists from crashing trains and buses into buildings, the Federal Air Marshals Service will expand to ground transportation.

The Ass. Press is reporting that pollution is not color blind, and hurts the poor and minorities the hardest.

An Associated Press analysis of a little-known government research project shows that black Americans are 79 percent more likely than whites to live in neighborhoods where industrial pollution is suspected of posing the greatest health danger.

Residents in neighborhoods with the highest pollution scores also tend to be poorer, less educated and more often unemployed than those elsewhere in the country, AP found.

Common sense would say that's because white people tend to live out in the suburban and rural areas, while blacks tend to live downtown. But who am I to inject common sense, when racial politics are on the line?

And of course don't forget to blame Bush. George Bush, who according to Kanye West hates black people, isn't doing anything to help.

The Bush administration, which has tried to ease some Clean Air Act regulations, says its mission isn't to alleviate pollution among specific racial or income groups but rather to protect everyone facing the highest risk.

"We're going to get at those folks to make sure that they are going to be breathing clean air, and that's regardless of their race, creed or color," said Deputy EPA Administrator Marcus Peacock.

The gun control lobby claims that the solution to San Francisco's murder problem is banning guns. They claim that the availability and proliferation of handguns is the root cause of murder. (It must be those evil mind control rays that guns emit.)

But Charlie Goodyear of the San Francisco Chronicle sees it differently. He says the root of the problem is lax enforcement.

Statistics compiled by San Francisco police for the committee show that in 74 of the 94 homicides recorded through Monday afternoon in 2005, no arrest has been made and the cases remain open and under investigation.

Police have made arrests in eight cases that resulted in prosecutions, the data show. In four other cases, the district attorney's office decided not to prosecute due to evidentiary shortcomings, authorities said.

The eight remaining cases are deemed closed due to deaths of suspects, among other reasons, according to the data.

So the problem is not one of too many guns, but in the lax investigation and prosecution of laws against murder. So why do police and the district attorney's office have so much trouble prosecuting crime? Apparently it's because there aren't enough guns.

Part of the explanation, police said, for the low rate of arrests and prosecutions is the reluctance of witnesses to provide testimony given their exposure to retribution.

It's tough California gun laws that expose people to retribution. A crime victim in California has to wait 10 days before he can buy a gun for self defense. That's about 9 days longer than the cops will hold the criminal after his arrest.

If a man is victimized in Virginia, he can buy a gun and take it home that day. In gun control havens like California, there's permitting, registration, waiting periods, price controls, and any number of other barriers to self defense.

If a Californian wants a handgun for self defense the barriers are even worse. Not only is there the "cooling off" period, but buyers must also get a handgun license and undergo safety training. And they'd better not be on a budget. Cheap handguns are illegal in California.

And with all those hoops to jump through, is it any wonder that people are reluctant to point the finger at an assailant?

Shamelessly stolen from the Bitch Girls:

Now that Congress has taken care of many urgent tasks such as debating the BCS for college football and hearing about steriod use in professional baseball, they can now move on to the other important issues of the day.

The chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, Ted Stevens, R-Alaska, is considering legislation to limit the size of carry-on luggage, saying the suitcases he sees going into airplane cabins are far too large.

So murder's okay, as long as you do a little community service afterward.

[Stanley Tookie] Williams' case became one of the nation's biggest death-row cause celebres in decades. It set off a nationwide debate over the possibility of redemption on death row, with Hollywood stars and capital punishment foes arguing that Williams had made amends by writing children's books about the dangers of gangs.

It reminds me of HBO's America Undercover look at life inside of Lewisburg Federal Penitentiary. Their interview of an inmate went something like this:

INMATE: I believe that if you forgive yourself in the eyes of the Lord, than you should be set free of your bonds. And I've forgiven myself for what I've done, I've made amends, I think that I should be set free.

INTERVIEWER: What are you in for?

INMATE: [with a straight face] Triple murder. But I must have blacked out during that third murder, because they say I stabbed my sister 27 times and I only remember cutting her throat.

Enjoy your dirt nap Tookie.

Hollywood insiders are predicting a Best Drama Golden Globe nomination and a Best Picture Oscar nomination for Brokeback Mountain. Westerns traditionally don't fare well when it comes to Hollywood awards, so what's their secret? Maybe the plot description will shed some light:

An epic love story set against the sweeping vistas of Wyoming and Texas, Brokeback Mountain tells the story of two young men - a ranch-hand and a rodeo cowboy - who meet in the summer of 1963, and unexpectedly forge a lifelong connection, one whose complications, joys and tragedies provide a testament to the endurance and power of love.

Yep, nothing says Hollywood like forbidden gay cowboy love.

"...George is out of time on his unemployment and he works harder than ever on his scheme to get a 13 week extension..." -- Plot description for Seinfeld Episode #34, The Boyfriend, part I.

"[U.S. District Judge Stanwood] Duval ruled that those who have not yet received FEMA aid to rent an apartment or move into a trailer can stay in their government-paid hotel rooms until two weeks after their application is approved or denied." -- Washington Post, December 12, 2005.

Dependency is ugly, and it never ceases to amaze me how hard people work to get a free ride. Let us not forget that Hurricane Katrina hit in August. The February date will, for some people, mark six months of sitting around doing nothing but sponging off the taxpayers.

Can't stop laughing...

The "bring your buddy along" firing stance

The Nautical theme is ever popular, as seen by this militiaman wearing the stylish Kapok life jacket.
Won't stop a bullet, but sure looks Boo-yaa!

Yeah, it is so wrong. But don't let that stop you from checking out the dozen more even funnier ones. You have to click through to the forum to read the rest.

This oughta do it.

How could these guys not see this coming? (5.59 MB Video) (The video is safe for work, but the link may contain some 'questionable' ad banners)

Another dangerous criminal was caught in the act by Washington D.C.'s finest. The city may have one of the highest murder rates in the country, but that doesn't stop them from issuing $5 jaywalking tickets to the mortally injured.

Charles Atherton, a former secretary of the U.S. Commission on Fine Arts that advises the government on architecture and design in official Washington, was hit Thursday while crossing busy Connecticut Avenue. He died Saturday night at George Washington University Hospital.

Although witnesses said he was badly injured and unresponsive at the scene, police issued him the ticket. His family found it with his belongings when they went to the hospital.

He's guaranteed not to re-offend.

This will never work:

Jarry Slaughter, an Oklahoma Transportation Authority engineer, has posted speed limit signs of 17 mph at three toll plazas that are under construction.

He said he can't scientifically measure the effectiveness of the unusual speed limit, but he's convinced it works.

Growing up in Virginia Beach, we had a 13 1/2 mph speed limit sign posted in a local shopping center parking lot. Legend has it, it was one of the most stolen signs in the city.

If you're good at finding stories like this, you may want to consider joining the dumb network. (Yours truly already blogs for Dumb Criminals, part of the Dumb Network.)

Say Uncle reports that another hardened criminal has been taken off the dangerous Atlanta streets (er.. subway rails):

Transit police handcuffed and cited a man who sold a $1.75 subway token to another rider who was having trouble with a token vending machine. Transit authority spokeswoman Jocelyn Baker said Friday that the officer "acted within the law" after he spotted Donald Pirone, 42, selling the token Nov. 30 inside the West End subway station.

Instead of giving Pirone a warning, the officer decided to handcuff him and give him the misdemeanor citation under a 1992 state law that bars passengers from selling Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority tokens, she said.

"What you've got to keep in mind is that fare abuse is a chronic problem," Baker said. "It costs MARTA millions of dollars every year."

Baker acknowledged that Pirone sold the token at face value and did not make a profit. But the law is the law, she said.

"There are customer service phones for people who are having trouble getting tokens out of the machine," Baker said. "The fact is, our officer acted within the law."

As for the handcuffs, Baker said the officer felt they were necessary.

"Our officers do that for their own safety," Baker said.

My guess is that MARTA discounts tokens for "the poor", city employees, and others. They are likely concerned about recipients of subsidized tokens making money on them (the same way they do food stamps, etc.).

The BBC laments the horrors of the everyone's favorite commie gun, the venerable AK-47. It's typical scare propaganda that you'd expect to read at a bastion of liberalism like the BBC. I've seen some ugly AK-47 clones, but that photo and caption is too funny.

All this week, BBC World Service's The World Today programme is looking at the stories behind one of the world's most iconic weapons, the AK-47, and talking to the people who trade in it, the people who carry it, and the people whose lives have been destroyed by it...

The most popular, and perhaps the most iconic, of all these weapons is the AK-47 assault rifle. Its distinctive shape and widespread use made it an icon of violence in the 20th Century.

Not only is that kid not carrying an AK-47 (it looks more like a Thompson), but it even lacks scary "assault weapon" features like bayonet lugs and a flash hider. And that magazine is clearly not detachable.

The New York Times laments the lax gun laws in Virginia:

As it stands now, a pipeline of illegal weapons flows with little impediment to New York from Virginia. . .where gun dealers easily sell to traffickers through "straw sales," in which a qualified third party � without a criminal record � acts as the buyer.

The Philadelphia Daily News applauds the tough gun laws in Virginia:

The key law would allow an individual to purchase only one handgun per month.

"This is not pie-in-the-sky," Clarke said yesterday. "Limiting purchases to one handgun a month helped reduce gun violence in Virginia, which used to be the gun capital of the East Coast because laws were so lax."

Donald Everett Waters, 39, is charged with two felony counts of wanton endangerment, in addition to resisting arrest, carrying a concealed deadly weapon, leaving the scene of an accident and driving under the influence. Waters was stopped for hit and run when it was discovered that he was allegedly letting his 7-year-old son drive for him. Police stopped his van on I-64 in Kentucky. They say that Waters was working the pedals while his 7-year-old son Cody was sitting on his lap steering.

[Clark County Sheriff's Deputy Ricky Estes] described Waters as "semiconscious."

"He said he was en route to Florida, and his son was going to get him there," Estes said.

Waters' 3-year-old son was also in the van, Estes said. He said it appeared Waters had been living out of the vehicle.

Waters was arrested and the children were taken by social services.

When they're not kidnapping Richard Dreyfuss' son, John Kerry says our troops are terrorizing women and children:

"And there is no reason, Bob, that young American soldiers need to be going into the homes of Iraqis in the dead of night, terrorizing kids and children, you know, women, breaking sort of the customs of the - of - the historical customs, religious customs," Kerry said Sunday. "Whether you like it or not ... Iraqis should be doing that."

That's an interesting take on things from the political party that gave us this:

Last week the Washington D.C. City Council voted to nullify the rights of property owners. Smoking will be banned on all accessable private property except for "cigar bars, hotel rooms, retail tobacco outlets, outdoor dining areas and medical research institutions" reports the Associated Press.

The anti-smoke nazis usually claim that prohibiting smoking everywhere actually increases business in restaurants and bars. But that message seems to be lost on D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams, who's worried about the impact on D.C.'s night life.

Lighting up in restaurants and bars would become illegal in the nation's capital under a smoking ban approved Tuesday by the city council, a move the mayor warned would send residents and tourists across the Potomac River to dine in more lenient suburbs.

"We should not impose a blanket ban on all of our restaurants," Mayor Anthony Williams said in a statement. "To do so puts the district at a competitive disadvantage."

So why not remain pro-choice and let the customers decide if they want to frequent smoking or non-smoking bars? In Chicago, anti-smokers are wrestling with the same dilema. They too want to tell people how to live their lives, but it's really hitting them in the pocketbook.

When I wrote about [bar owner Wendy Pick] in August, she was wrestling with her conscience. Should she continue to run a bar that abetted her customers in smoking themselves sick? Or should she forbid cigarettes, which might be as financially unhealthy as banning beer?

Gotta love the holier-than-thou attitude. Someone who peddles booze looking down her nose at smokers. She's not at all concerned about heart disease, alcoholism, or drunken driving. On top of that Pick knows that her self-imposed smoking ban is hurting her business. She's hoping to hold on until July 2008, when Chicago will begin using the police power of the government to force everyone else to ban smoking as well.

She feared that without a citywide smoking ban to "level the playing field," her smoking clients would take their money, as well as their Marlboros, elsewhere...

Since [she banned smoking], with clear lungs and a clean conscience, she's watched profits drop.

"We're not getting as many of the 'smoking's-not-going-to-hurt-me-I'm-young' crowd," she says. Some of the old-timers are gone, too, like the ardent pool player who complained about being forced outside to smoke in winter.

"I'm going to get pneumonia," he protested.

She thought he should be more worried about emphysema.

Ugh. Would you want to deal with this person? I bet if I ordered french fries she'd insist I eat steamed veggies instead. Working for her is apparently not much better.

Meanwhile, her bartenders are looking for extra work and trying to appreciate the bright side of fewer tips.

"When you go home, your clothes don't stink, and your eyes don't burn," [bartender Matt Wilson] said Thursday night. Then he amiably excused himself.

"We just got a rush."

A rush?

"Well," he said, "one person just came in."

Remember, it's about property rights and freedom of choice.

Canadian politicians are falling all over themselves to be the first on their block to push for a total handgun ban. It demonstrates just how different Canadia and America really are. In the States pushing for a gun ban is political suicide, save for liberal bastions like Washington D.C. and New Jersey. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Canadians actually consider banning guns as being "tough" on crime.

After more than a week of reacting to Conservative campaign promises, the prime minister [Paul Martin] beat the Tories to the law-order punch Thursday. He told supporters in a crime-plagued Toronto neighbourhood that a Liberal government would toughen weapons penalties, pump another $325 million into policing, and ban handguns, which are already severely restricted.

And despite those severe restrictions, criminals still have no problem getting their hands on them. Just like the global ban on drugs doesn't keep criminals from getting their hands on cocaine.

So, just how does the Canadian government plan to enforce this ban? Well as David Kopel points out, "All legally-owned handguns have been registered in Canada since the 1930s." Those registration records will no doubt come in handy when it comes time to go house to house.

You see a hot chick with cold steel in her pants and you critique her gun etiquette. She'll never be able to draw down with the grips facing outward! The grip has to face inward.

(Click to Supersize)

In this other pic (URL NSFW), she does show good gun safety.

Via Mobog.
(some pics not safe for work)

UPDATE: The guys wife must have figured out he was posting pics of her, because he took them all down.

UPDATE2: Some of the pics are back.

Well, it's like this. I've put in nearly 45 hours at work in the past 3 days. I have had to work late every night so far this week and will be working late again tomorrow. Basically, don't look for too much new content here until next week.

Because of the recent spate of global warming induced coldness, Prince George's County Police appeared on the news this morning to remind Marylanders that leaving your car running is illegal. Police Captain Kevin Davis warned citizens and residents that they would receive a written or verbal warning until Christmas. After Christmas, his officers will issue citations. ($55 plus 1 point)

"Not only is it unsafe to leave your keys in the vehicle while unattended, it's actually illegal in the state of Maryland...

...We want folks to be aware that the temporary comfort associated with getting into a warm vehicle is not worth the risk and inconveniences associated with getting your vehicle stolen."

Prince George's County leads the region in stolen vehicles. The County has more stolen vehicles reported each year than the entire Commonwealth of Virginia. And since the state of Maryland, and Prince George's County in particular, has been so ineffective at combating car theft, they've criminalized everybody else.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 10 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

(Via Countertop)

UPDATE: Spoiler Alert: The answers are posted in the comments.

Arkansas man scales White House fence.

Having Mr. T bark orders at you while you drive would be pretty cool, for about 15 seconds.

Everything he tells you to do -- everything -- starts with "Hey, Fool!" That's true even when he's telling you to do something dumb, like drive onto the lower level of the Queensboro Bridge when the upper level is the one you need.

California company NavTones has contracted with Mr. T and the actors Burt Reynolds and Dennis Hopper to record voices that can be loaded into navigation systems, giving your driving directions a little extra personality. More voices are coming, the company said.

Who needs a .50 caliber rifle when you can have a 25mm. For those of you who shun the metrical system that's about .98 caliber, if I did my math right.

(Click to Supersize)

Countertop blasts the gun grabbers on the left for assuming all blacks with guns are bad guys.

It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker.

Reader "Chris" sends this bit of fan mail:

I will never be back because you have the back button disabled. Sights like this will soon be a thing of the past.

That's right Chris. I had the team over at Halliburton working overtime to come up with a way to steal your back button. It's part of our plan for world conquest. With all the back buttons disabled, nobody will be able to stop us. Not even those pesky kids with their goofy looking dog and tricked out hippie van.

Out of 1.94 million votes cast in November, Republican Bob McDonnell won Virginia'a Attorney General race by 323 votes. He was certified the winner, but could still end up losing it in a recount.

Democrat Creigh Deeds requested the statewide recount. Even though I voted for Deeds, I would have urged him to concede (but then I'm not the one facing unemployment). But the recount in Virginia should be much more orderly than in other states.

"We are not going to make up rules about how to count votes after the election," said Camille LaCognata, voting equipment manager for the State Board of Elections, which has been overrun with calls from both camps seeking clarification of the rules.

"You're not going to see Democrats seeing more votes for Democrats and Republicans seeing more votes for Republicans. It's already been rewritten up in our policies and procedures..."

Lawyers for both campaigns will sit before a judge today to iron out just how the recount will be structured. Will every vote be counted, or will they just retally the totals from each precinct?

Individual ballots cannot be recounted on touch-screen and lever machines, but the results can be double-checked from printouts. It will be up to the recount judges to decide whether to rerun ballots through the optical scanners and punch-card machines, or just to check results on the tabulators.

Both men were good candidates. Just so long as we don't see poll workers holding cards up to the light trying to devine the intent of the voter, I don't really care who wins.

Some British constables are standing behind local decisions to maintain an unarmed police force. Constable Booth from Chapeltown thinks that a police baton and pepper spray are the only tools a policeman needs to maintain order.

"We also have a stab-proof vest, which can also limit the damage of ballistics. They are now mandatory, and we have to wear them all the time.

"They can get very uncomfortable when the summer comes around, but new technology is being developed all the time, so a new type may be brought into use soon.

"The CS spray is carried by all officers, and is rarely used. It is there if we need it though, and it is better than using live ammunition.

"Live ammunition is only used when absolutely necessary, obviously. Around 10% of the force is trained to use arms.

"There are only a few countries which don't have armed officers on the beat, and we are one of them.

"I personally wouldn't want to see guns brought into a PC's routine, I think that it could take us down a similar path as America, and that is something we don't want.

"Tazer guns are currently on trial in this country, and they might be the solution to the problem. I think anything is better than live ammo at this stage though."

Actor/Politician Michael Douglas, the psychopathic killer from Falling Down, is going to push for adoption of the United Nation's global gun control treaty.

Fatal attraction star Michael Douglas is planning to lobby the US government for tighter gun control, because he's still haunted by rocker John Lennon's 1980 shooting death.

Lennon was murdered outside his New York City apartment building by Mark Chapman, and the event is one of the major reasons why Douglas wants to use his position as a United Nations Messenger of Peace to lobby for disarmament.

He says: "I was there the night John Lennon was shot, three blocks away. It left a lasting impression on me.

"It motivated me to do whatever I could to lobby for small-arms control."

As is typical in Hollyweird, celebrities who live behind 12 foot stone walls and can afford to hire armed security escorts, are working overtime to make sure that regular people cannot defend themselves.

RCOB Alert: Atheists are suing to get rid of crosses to honor fallen police officers. Using crosses to memorialize the dead is an unConstitutional establishment of a national religion, the heretics argue:

A Texas-based atheist group has filed a federal lawsuit against the Utah Highway Patrol and the Utah Department of Transportation, demanding that crosses erected in honor of fallen UHP troopers be removed from highways on the principle of separation of church and state.

In the suit filed in U.S. District court Thursday, American Atheists Inc., a nonprofit Texas corporation with main offices based out of New Jersey, says several of the 12-foot steel crosses memorializing troopers killed in the line of duty are located on public land in violation of the establishment clause of the First Amendment.

"It is the government endorsement of religion and of one particular religion," said Mike Rivers, Utah director of American Atheists and one of the plaintiffs. Two other Utah members, Stephen Clark and Richard Andrews, have also joined the suit.

News of the suit spread quickly through the UHP community and among friends and family of fallen troopers. "Generally speaking, the crosses are to memorialize these officers who have given the ultimate sacrifice to the state," UHP spokesman Jeff Nigbur said. Nigbur said a large number of the crosses are located on private property near public highways.

As for the religious symbolism, Nigbur said, the cross symbol was chosen as a general symbol to memorialize the fallen.

"We chose the cross because the cross is the international sign of peace, and it has no religious significance in it," Nigbur said.

"I think that's less than honest," said Salt Lake civil rights attorney Brian Barnard, who represents the atheists.

After last week's loss in Indianapolis, Steeler fans are accusing Indy of artificially creating crowd noise.

Steelers Insider, Post-Gazette writer Ed Bouchette reports that something else was going on Monday night.

He reports that a Steelers source tells him that the colts actually amplified the crowd noise during Steelers offensive snaps.

"The Colts were pumping in noise, I can tell you that," Bouchette said. "They had extra microphones spread around the stadium and they took that noise from the fans, put it back in through the PA and that's why it was so loud.

Who needs a wife to nag you about driving too fast, when the government can install a monitoring device to slow your car down for you. That may just happen to Canadian drivers. The government of Canadia is exploring technology to control driver's cars from the inside.

The system being tested by Transport Canada, the Canadian equivalent of the U.S. Department of Transportation, uses a global positioning satellite device installed in the car to monitor the car's speed and position. If the car begins to significantly exceed the speed limit for the road on which it's travelling the system responds by making it harder to depress the gas pedal, according to a story posted on the Toronto Globe and Mail's Website.

Last week Senator Arlen Spector suggested the federal government should force the Eagles to start Terrell Owens. He suggested that Congressional hearings should be held on the Eagle's starting lineup.

Apparently he didn't realize that football is already regulated, by the House of Representatives. They plan to look into how the much maligned Bowl Championship Series (BCS) selects teams to play in college bowls.

A House Energy and Commerce subcommittee, charged with regulating America's sports industry, announced Friday it will conduct a hearing on the BCS next week, after this season's bowl match-ups are determined.

Regular readers of this site know that I'm no fan of the BCS system, but Congressional interference is not the answer.

Washington D.C. Police Chief Charles Ramsey declared a crime emergency after a series of murders late last week.

Four people were slain in a five-hour period. . .authorities said. The killings do not appear to be related.

Guns have been effectively banned in Washington D.C. since 1976.

Popularity of New Orleans' Mayor and City Council is likely at an all time low. But they won't have to worry about being voted out of office, at least not until late next year. Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco has agreed to delay the February 4th elections for up to 8 months. Of course the delay doesn't come in the name of incumbency protection. No, it's all the fault of George W. Bush and his cronies at FEMA.

[Secretary of State Al Ater] laid much of the blame for the delay on the Federal Emergency Management Agency, which he said has not provided any of the $2 million his office requested to repair voting machines damaged in the Aug. 29 storm and to upgrade New Orleans' absentee voting system.

Ater also said FEMA took until this week to respond to his October request for a list of addresses of Louisiana residents displaced by Hurricane Katrina, so they can be informed of how to vote from out of state.

"Our job would have been a lot easier if FEMA had been more forthright and more forthcoming," Ater said.

What would we do without FEMA? Apparently nothing.

Rep. John Murtha, a House Democrat who called for the U.S. troops to surrender in Iraq, has gone from supporting the troops but not the mission, to not even supporting the troops any more. Murtha's insults are the most heinous since Senator Dick Durban called our soldiers Nazis and compared them to Pol Pot. Neal Boortz comments on Murtha's objectionable comments.

...yesterday, Murtha was at it again. Speaking to a group in his district in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, Murtha said that troops will leave Iraq in the next year because the Army is "broken, worn out and living hand to mouth." Such a vote of confidence!

So not only does Murtha want to admit defeat and leave the battlefield, now he wants to say that the troops will be leaving because they aren't up to the task. If you read between the lines, Congressman Al-Murtha is saying the war is lost because the troops have failed.

Consider for a moment what Murtha's comments might mean to the Islamic insurgency and Islamic terrorist factions around the world.

No, consider what Murtha's comments might mean to our troops. It has been my experience that bashing a soldier's family of service is a good way to get your ass kicked. You can tell a Marine that the Marine Corp logo looks like a buzzard sitting on a beach ball with an anchor shoved up his ass. But you'd better be prepared to defend yourself when you do it.

That Murtha is a United States Representative is a shame. Democrats should distance themselves from this loon.

Thirty-four year old Shane Stant has been informed by Multnomah County (OR) Circuit Judge Julie Frantz that the state cannot expunge his criminal record. Stant made the request because a felony conviction for assault is keeping him out of the Navy SEALs.

Who is Shane Stant, you ask? He's the one who whacked Olympic Figure Skater Nancy Kerrigan on the leg.

Stant served 14 months in prison for the conspiracy involving skater Tonya Harding and her ex-husband when Harding was seeking the U.S. figure skating title and a spot on the 1994 Winter Olympics team...

Stant struck Kerrigan with a police baton as she prepared to compete in the U.S. championships in Detroit, leaving Kerrigan crumpled on the floor, grabbing her knee and crying out, "Why? Why?" Kerrigan recovered from the injury and won the silver medal in the Olympics.

Isn't 34 a little old to join the Navy SEALs?

Okay, so my Hokies seriously tanked it to a mediocre Florida State team. Yeah, I'm disappointed but they still had a pretty good year and have the best record in the ACC; even if they aren't the champs.

Of course the silver lining is that I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance a trip to Miami. Had they gone to the Orange Bowl, it would have cost me at least $1500 for plane tickets, rental cars, hotel rooms, bowl tickets. Considering it's also time to renew our Hokie Club* membership, buy presents, and maybe even fly out to Kansas to spend Christmas the holiday with my sister, December was looking to have serious negative cash flow.

The Hokies will now likely play in the Peach Bowl. They just played in Jacksonville, so the Gator will probably go to Miami. Just as well, I'd rather see us play LSU in the Peach which is what SI is predicting. If all my friends hadn't moved away from Atlanta, I'd probably make the trek down there. We'll see how the month goes.

*Hokie Club = Paying for the right to buy season tickets.

UPDATE: Tech was picked for the Gator Bowl after all. Not sure why the Gator wants us coming back to Jacksonville again. Frankly, I'm sick of going to the Gator Bowl. It's a nice bowl, but we always went there as Big East runner up, and I've been there several times already. I may go to the game, but I doubt it.

The liberals have a new history book, and it's paid for with taxpayer dollars. At $12 a copy, it's pretty popular with history teachers too. The book starts out: "The primary purpose of this textbook is not to fill your heads with a lot of facts about American history and government," and it doesn't.

"Textbooks in American government have always differentiated between the 'delegated powers,' those given to the federal government, and the 'reserved powers,' those powers that remain with the states and the people," Dr. Quist notes. "This book uses the term 'delegated powers' several times, but it never uses the counterpart term 'reserved powers.'"

"In this textbook, there are no rights reserved to the states or the people. All rights reside with the federal government."

It's even worse on the Second Amendment. Most of the text focuses on gun control. Where it does address the Second, it gets it wrong.

"The Second Amendment (right to bear arms) was mentioned in the earlier historical development section of the text, but there it was included only under the heading of controversial issues, and the emphasis was on gun control, not the right to bear arms," Dr. Quist observes. "In addition, the Second Amendment was inaccurately defined as being the right of states to have a militia, not as a personal right to own and bear arms."

Your tax dollars at work.

Say Uncle is reporting that the Ass. Press has resorted to unethical journalistic methods in doing a .50 Caliber hit piece. I'm shocked, I say, shocked!

Am I the only one wondering just why the news media is waiting with baited breath for the 1000th execution since 1976? One thousand is no more special than 999. It is a morbid countdown that reminds me of how they've been treating soldier deaths in Iraq.

Being a proponent of the death penalty, others would no doubt consider me heartless and cruel. But I still think 1,000 is a little low for nearly 30 years. We used to hang horse thieves, and now you can't hang anyone at all. Whats more there are only a few capital crimes left, like treason or capital murder. And even murder requires pre-meditation before it's considered a death penalty offense.

To those who are against capital punishment, I say we'll stop putting criminals and thugs to death when they stop preying on the innocent. Until that happens, let 'em swing.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrinarita and New Orleans flood, many home lenders offered borrowers a moratorium on mortgage payments. They gave homeowners a little time to get back on their feet, but now that the time is up borrowers are crying foul. The Washington Post tugs at the heartstrings with stories of homeowners who mistakenly thought missed payments would be deferred for up to 30 years.

The Gaskells said they thought that meant monthly payments would resume in December, with the three missed payments due at the end of their loan. But last week, they said, their mortgage lender called to say they needed to make all three payments now -- or face late fees and penalties as well as an adverse credit report.

That's why you should always keep three months worth of expenses in the bank. Then there's this:

But as the moratorium on payments comes to an end, borrowers, lenders and investors holding the notes are heading into uncharted territory, without clear guidance from the government or a historical precedent for what to do next.

Give me a break. If you owe money, you pay it back. If you're unable to pay it back you negotiate a payment plan suitable to both parties. If you cannot reach an agreement you head to civil court, where the law is almost always on the side of the lender. (I'm beginning to understand why banks want these kind of people to get mortgage insurance.) And if a person absolutely cannot afford to get back on their feet, they start foreclosure proceedings. That's nothing new to the lending industry.

It's really quite simple. But for some reason people figure that being hit by a hurricane or flood (as opposed to a fire, earthquake, or any number of disasters) gives them special status.

With the dot-bomb bust of internet providers in 1999, there are only a few high speed options left out there. And now some of those internet providers are looking to protect their interests. BellSouth would like to be able to charge internet sites for the priviledge of reaching BellSouth customers. Does this sound like a service you'd want to pay for?

William L. Smith, chief technology officer for Atlanta-based BellSouth Corp., told reporters and analysts that an Internet service provider such as his firm should be able, for example, to charge Yahoo Inc. for the opportunity to have its search site load faster than that of Google Inc.

Or, Smith said, his company should be allowed to charge a rival voice-over-Internet firm so that its service can operate with the same quality as BellSouth's offering.

Network operators can identify the digital "packets" of content moving through their wires from sites and services and can block some or put others at the head of the stream.

But Smith was quick to say that Internet service providers should not be able to block or discriminate against Web content or services by degrading their performance.

Riight. BellSouth would never disrupt Vonage packets to protect their telephone business. At least that is what they are saying this week. And isn't promoting! Yahoo! packets! over Google packets a way of discriminating against Google by degrading their performance?

I'm not expert, but as I understand the internet BellSouth cannot promote some packets without demoting others. Since the packets all travel at the same speed over any given internet hop, the limitation has more to do with how wide the pipe is. In other words, the limitation is the quantity of packets that are permitted to flow across a wire at any given time. And when you're bandwidth is limited by the size of the pipe, allowing more Yahoo! packets to flow would mean you have to slow down everyone else. So if you're searching Google and your neighbor is searching Yahoo!, he gets his results back quicker.

"Prioritization is just another word for degrading your competitor," said Gigi B. Sohn, president of Public Knowledge, a digital rights advocacy group. "If we want to ruin the Internet, we'll turn it into a cable TV system" that carries programming from only those who pay the cable operators for transmission.

Amen to that.

It should come as no surprise that less than two minutes after President Bush's speech on Iraq, House Minority Leader and resident hippie Nancy Pelosi rushed to the microphone to endorse an immediate surrender. The Washington Times quotes Pelosi in her gushing approval of John Murtha's call for a U.S. surrender in Iraq:

"I'm endorsing what Mr. Murtha is saying, which is that the status quo is not working and that we need to have a plan that makes us safer, our military stronger, and makes Iraq more stable," she said.

"I believe that a majority of our caucus clearly supports Mr. Murtha," she added.

This support is best evidenced by the House's 403-3 rejection of Murtha's proposal. What's more, both Murtha and Pelosi voted against the Murtha bill. So I guess it could be said that Pelosi is actually voting for Murtha's bill after she voted against it.

Bruce does a superb job at fisking Steve Baily of the Boston Globe. Baily is an anti-gun hysteric who deals in making wild claims aimed at panicing unsuspecting readers, and Bruce takes him down in hilarious fashion.

The Ecosystem appears to be devolving, and lots of people are upset over being demoted to lower forms of life. (In case you're wondering, Ravenwood's Universe declined from Large Mammal to Adorable Rodent.)

I rarely pay attention to stuff like that, and I'm certainly not one to get upset over it. But from reading some of the more interesting comments, it has caused quite a stir out there.

Officer Patrick Hickey's experience shows just how dangerous it can be out there.

Authorities said Officer Patrick Hickey was checking license plates as part of a recent drug investigation when 33-year-old Stewart Jenkins asked him "What's up?"

"What's up?" Hickey said he responded.

After another exchange, Jenkins allegedly retorted: "I'll show you what's up!" and went inside a nearby house and emerged with a .38 caliber handgun, police said.

Presumably Hickey was in plain clothes and in a not-so-nice neighborhood. The bad guy backed down after Officer Hickey displayed his badge and pulled his own sidearm.

Authorities said Jenkins was wanted in Michigan, where he was on parole for assault.

Police said he was carrying $700 and a small amount of what they suspected was crack cocaine. A search of his house turned up $8,000 and 15 grams of suspected crack, authorities said.

It just goes to show you how a simple gesture or comment can put your life in danger.

Man allegedly kills transvestite prostitute with hoe

You scored as Officer.

Officer, your the brass. The leader of the bunch. You have leadership qualities, or you have a really big ego. Most likely both. You know how to get things done, and don't care who you have to kill to get them done. Your a man with a mission and to stand in your way means pain. You have gumption and intelligence to back it up. Hold the line!!! AND SOMEONE GET ME COFFEE!!!

Which soldier type are you?