Welcome to a special holiday edition of Carnival of the Vanities. Giddy like a little school boy, I woke up early this morning, and ran down stairs to see what was under the tree.

After making his list and checking it twice, Santa left us all sorts of goodies last night...

What I did on my holiday vacation:

Solonor's Ink Well - The bloggers night before Christmas -- 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even my mouse; I sat at my keyboard in the rare quiet air, The first chance I'd gotten to sit in my chair.

Northwest Notes - A Christmas Essay -- My eight-year-old imagination stepped off the sidewalk of daily life and plunged into other centuries and lands, before Chicago existed, even farther back, when Europeans were tribes of nomads, living outside, carrying houses made of blankets, before Columbus, back when most people couldn't even read.

Solonor's Ink Well - And I invented cybersex -- We finally have my kind of people in the Patent Office: drooling morons!

The World Wide Rant - NORAD will track Santa tonight -- Anonymous Bush administration sources indicate that the Information Awareness Office's John Poindexter will be adding Britney Spears to the payroll.

A Small Victory - Testing... 1, 2, 3 - Laurence Simon: 1-800-JEW-BLOG. We Jews keep things running smoothly while y'all make drunk asses of yourselves and bitch about the pile the coats on the bed because that means you'll just have to do your cousin in the linen closet.

mfinley.com - The Last Turkey -- When the night is dark and the winter cold, the farmers lie under three comforters, wondering about the creatures in the barn, whether they will be alive in the morning or nay.

Joanie - Going without -- The last real Christmas that I recall with Grandma is one that makes me smile.

People's Rep. of Seabrook - Christmas Thoughts -- I suppose that most of us have songs that bring us back to a time, place, emotion, or a combination of the above. I'm no different than a lot of people in that respect, and I do find that music is a particularly powerful mnemonic device- sometimes a bit TOO powerful.

'Tis the season for holiday shoppers:

The Rant - Goodbye Miss Cleo -- Speculators react to business news the way horny teenagers react to strippers. They wag their tongues, whistle and stuff dollar bills into the g-strings of well-endowed corporations as they bare their debts and equities on the financial page runways.

Amish Tech Support - Welcome to the Amish Tech Support Dead Pool -- Your place for last minute 'dead pool' shopping.

Liquid Courage - Better off dead & Wanted: Sense of Humor -- That tiny part of me that still believes I might have a soul and there is such a thing as karma finds it morally reprehensible and just plain creepy to officially wish people dead, no matter how deserving they may be.

Overtaken by Events - The 12 Days -- In the interest of promoting the Christmas spirit, I am offering my own suggestions to make your little anklebiter's eyes light up like a totally non-sectarian winter celebration tree.

Politics doesn't take a holiday vacation:

Dissecting Leftism - American Attitudes to Immigration -- It looks like Australia is a lot more democratic than the USA on this one. Our government DOES go to great lengths to control immigration. It is probably one of the most effective in the world at it.

The Eleven Day Empire - Racist is as racist does -- Of course. Because all black people have the same views, and the same concerns, and should all vote the same way in a block, and should vote a straight ticket every time.

Everything Must Go - A tale of two cities -- When I showed up for work this evening, in Oakland, CA, my co-workers told me they'd noticed a badly vandalized car parked across the street, in front of a bank. The car's hood had been pried open to disable the alarm, and a door was open. The radio had been taken. The number "187" had been scratched into the roof. (187 is Oakland police code for murder.)

The Eleven Day Empire - I guess it's only fraud when Republicans do it -- Some of these fun activities included: Illegally keeping polling places open past the statutory deadline. Paying people to vote. Running a get-out-the-vote operation right out of a polling place.

Ravenwood's Universe - My Libertarian Platform Part I and Part II -- Social Security is nothing but a big ponsi scheme. If someone like you or me tried to pull a scam like this, they'd lock us up and throw away the key.

Plum Crazy - Frist gets a smear -- Looks like the games regarding the Senate Majority Leader position have already begun.

Ipse Dixit - A Pretty Lousy Code -- I know the GOP is not a racist political party. I also know that the overwhleming majority of my fellows vote Republican because they agree with the party's positions, in the main, on a whole host of economic, social, and political issues and not because they long for the return of separate bathrooms.

The Ville - Open Letter -- If you don't love and appreciate this country for all that it is, and all that it isn't, get the hell out! If you hate being free and it's just too much of a burden for you to bear...LEAVE!

Gut Rumbles - Pardon Me -- Bush announced his first Presidential pardons today, and they don't include a single rat-bastard of the sort Clinton liked to pardon.

Jingle Bell Rock:

Dustbury - Doo-wop eternal -- At various times in the Rock Era, or whatever it's called, it has been fashionable, even de rigueur, to disrespect doo-wop, its ability to grant temporary plausibility to sub-Harlequin-level romantic fantasies, its affinity for nonsense syllables, as though we're supposed to grow out of this or something. If that's the case, count me out.

The Eleven Day Empire - Oh, Where Do We Begin With This? -- We have princes conversing with ghosts, faerie kings and queens, and sorcerors on deserted islands, and that's just for a start!

JimSpot - I live in reality -- I was doing the dishes from supper tonight and I glanced out the window over the sink in the kitchen and saw them in the living room. One was on the computer, talking to the other one who was sitting on the couch. Every once in a while, as I was doing the dishes, I looked up into their living room. It occurred to me at that point that I don't live in a porno movie.

Ipse Dixit - Hobbitses And Orcses -- They kept me at rapt attention for three solid hours through an ever-escalating series of mounting climaxes such that, honestly, when the plot was obviously moving toward resolution, I found it hard to believe we were approaching the three hour mark.

Jingle Bells and Shotgun Shells:

Amish Tech Support - Smart Guns, Dumb Idea? -- Imagine how different things would have been if Alexander Hamilton had gone into the duel with Aaron Burr packing a pair of smart-gun pistols.

Plum Crazy - Bobby Fuller four wrong -- According to a Google Fight, "I" fought "The Law," and "The Law" didn't win.

We Three Terrorists of Arabia are:

The Eleven Day Empire - He's just like Santa Claus -- Well, that's apparently what Senator Patty Murray thinks of Osama bin Laden.

Liquid Courage - We've got your "loaf" for ya -- No doubt the Human Rights Watch, the Red Cross, and a slew of other religious and humanitarian whiners will be rushing to his aid, now that sniper suspect John Lee Malvo has complained about his prison food.

Thanks to Big Wig for giving me the opportunity to host this week's Carnival of the Vanities. I only hope that I lived up the the level of excellence set by the other Carnival hosts.

Also, thanks to all the bloggers that submitted entries this week. Without them, the Carnival would not be possible.

This week's Carnival was not without it's hitches. My feedback form decided to crap out at the last minute, so I hope that nobody was inadvertently left out. Also, after getting 80% of the submissions between the hours of 3:00 and 5:00 PM, I have developed a new appreciation to those that get their entries in early. Never again will I wait until the last minute to submit my entry.

Next week's Carnival will be held at Solonor's Ink Well on New Years Day.